New ANUS Is Out: Ep. 313 - King Kunta
A New Untold Story just dropped a new episode, King Kunta, but it should have been titled King KB because my god KB Lamar'd it up and most definitely had that.
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The Baby Boy, Owen Roeder, is leaving Barstool to produce The Tim Dillon Show (that's an insane sentence to type, but you will be missed dearly Owen), so instead of The Knews, we have a Roast of Owen.
Rudy is welcomed as ANUS' newest producer, Nick has been "eating healthy" for over a year, KB compares the ANUS team to the Breaking Bad cast, and there is some anti-depressant-flat-dick-talk.
Go listen now, and God Bless.
MOOOOOOOOOOOOK Thoughts
Hello, I am Mook, the new ANUS guy that is alarmingly red and extremely handsome.
Nick and KB suggested I fire off some thoughts down here after each episode, so here we go, and congratulations if you made it this far (or even here in the first place). This is what's floating through my mind right now as I just spent a week at Barstool HQ, and I'm currently on a connecting flight to Texas to host for Lil Sas all weekend.
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- Why hasn't Joey Camasta hit on me yet? I met Joey in Boston when I opened up his live show at Laugh Boston, have seen him around the office, and yet he STILL hasn't sexually harassed me??? What the fuck, Joey, I need to be harassed, sexually, for the confidence boost. Touch my ass or ask what color my pubes are for fuck's sake. My confidence is more shot than usual.
- Follow up on the above: Rudy looked me directly in the face during the podcast on Wednesday and said "yeah, that's a bizarre thing you got going on" referring to my red hair and blonde eyelashes. What a hot-guy-move to be like "yeah, what's good with your face, bro?" I mean, he's not wrong, I have a unique mitt, but christ Rudy not all of us are blessed with Joey-Camasta-would-use-me-as-a-chew-toy-and-then-spit-me-out-put-me-in-the-fridge-and-then-reheat-me-for-dinner-looks.
- The people that stand up before the plane lands and exit the plane before it's their row's turn are smart as fuck. Yes, I know those people are assholes, but think about it. Do you remember the face of the last dickhead to cut in front of you on the plane as you patiently waited your turn to exit? No, you don't, and you'll never see them again. It's a faceless crime. I watched some dude on my flight in row 28 John Kuhn his way through the isle as soon as the plane landed and I couldn't tell you what he looked like. I have way too much of a guilty conscience to do this, but I'm tempted to give it a try on my flight home Sunday…
Until next week
-Mook
P.S. this blog cost me $5 (extremely worth it this is gonna go viral af) I as I had to purchase Delta Wifi on my flight to write it. I will never get that $5 back. We will discuss the best things you can do with $5 next week.