At The End Of The Day Bigfoot Is Probably Just A Black Bear According To This Very Sad New Study

Backpacker- “If Bigfoot is there, it may be many bears,” concludes Floe Foxon, a researcher who just published a preprint analysis of Bigfoot sightings. Their findings suggest that there’s a high correlation between documented Bigfoot encounters and dense populations of black bears.

Previous studies of the Pacific Northwest have identified that most Sasquatch sightings occur in areas with large numbers of black bears. But Foxon extended that analysis across the entire United States and Canada. Using a geographic database of sightings compiled by the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization, Foxon compared entries with local black bear and human population densities.

“Sasquatch sightings are logically a function of the number of people in each state/province available to make a sighting, and the size (land area) of each state/province (because interactions between humans and animals are less likely when each populate an area sparsely),” explains Foxon in the analysis. “Consequently, models were implemented which investigated the possible association between sightings and bear populations while also adjusting for the potential impact of human population and land area.”

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You know what? This is miserable news to wake up to on a beautiful Wednesday morning. There's a lot of things that people know PROBABLY don't exist in the back of their heads yet still want to keep the dream going like say the Cubs would've won the World Series if not for Bartman, Carbs somehow being good for you, and all the good cryptozoology stuff. I, for one, am a big cryptozoology guy (the study of mythical creatures) so I always enjoy a good article about one of our friends like Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster, or the Chupacabra.

Yet this type of article? THIS TYPE? Absolutely not. I know there's probably not a 9 foot tall ape-like man living throughout the many forrests of North America though I never want the illusion to end. I want to go to sleep and wake up every morning with the idea in my brain that all of these dumb things can exist and the LAST thing I want to see is the plausible that at the end of the day all Bigfoots and Sasquatches are probably black bears. That's no fun whatsoever and it obviously makes sense. I'm gonna pretend I did not come across this article this morning. Now please excuse me as I go tune into this History Channel video and keep the hope alive.