You Can Skip The Morning Coffee Today, Just Watch This ELECTRIC Jonathan Gannon Pump-Up Speech On Repeat Instead

Jordie9/01/2023 1:30 PM

Oh heck yeah, brother. That right there? That's a head ball coach. That's a leader of men. A dude who knows how to get the most out of each and every single guy he leads into war every Sunday. Who drove? Who rode the bus? It don't matter, Johnny G is just out here looking for FUCKING killers.

A lot of people don't know this, but the reason you play is to win games. The more games you win, the better you are. Jonathan Gannon gets that. Don't get it twisted. But sometimes you just need to refresh the boys a little bit and make sure everybody is on the same page. You're not there to tie games. Shoot, you sure as heck ain't there to lose games. You are there to WIN games. How are you gonna do that? By taking the bus to practice and lighting it on fire. Or something like that. I don't know, I honestly fell asleep halfway through that speech so I'm just trying to piece parts of it together.

The best part about this "speech" is that you can tell Jonathan Gannon has just been watching old seasons of Hard Knocks on repeat this offseason trying to figure out how to talk to an entire team. It's like when you watch a bunch of YouTube videos to teach you how to golf before a round. You kind of understand all the things you're supposed to be doing, but then once you stand over the ball you still fucking suck. That's Jonathan Gannon preparing to be a head coach. He knows there are certain words and cadences to use to get his team fired up and bought in, but then once he gets up there to speak it sounds like English is a second language to him.

Anyway, pray for everyone who has the Arizona Cardinals on their schedule this year. No idea how your team is going to be able to contain these maniacs running out of the tunnel coming out for blood.