Tom Brady-Led Delta Airlines Leaves Passengers Stranded On Portuguese Island As Rep Allegedly Tells Them To "Be Grateful That Their Plane Didn't Crash"

Rewind to the end of last week:

TMZ - Indeed, Delta announced a multi-year agreement Wednesday that they've struck with TB12 -- making him a new long-term strategic adviser for their company ... which will see him give their employees, their customers and their stakeholders a piece of his mind on a number of topics -- including general greatness, something that's right up his alley. 

Fast forward to this week:

NY Post - Passengers on board a Delta flight to New York were diverted to a Portuguese island where they say they were stuck in a secluded part of the airport for 12 hours and had to beg for food, as airline representatives warned them not to start “a revolution.” 

I'm not a conspiracy theory guy, but I am a connect the dots guy. So I'm sorry Tom Brady, but this is what happens. If you align yourself with a major airline company like Delta, you're going to get a shitty Barstool Sports blogger using your name as cheap clickbait every time Delta fucks something up.

Everybody hates the major airline companies. There's not a more hated industry in the world that doesn't involved kidnapping or child soldiers. I'm sure Tom is making plenty of money from this partnership, but is it really worth aligning yourself with something as despised as Big Plane?

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Take this story for example. Delta Airlines fucked something up, and it resulted in plane full of innocent passengers being stranded on a remote island in Portugal. Let me break down the story step-by-step

Step 1: Plane from Ghana to NYC was diverted due to mechanical issue

Before the plane even makes it's shitty Portuguese pit stop, the passengers already have a right to be furious. If you're plane takes off, and gets diverted to any location other than where you've paid for it to take you, you're well within your right to demand retribution in the form of large scale firings, or the infliction of physical harm unto low-level employees who have nothing to do with the situation whatsoever. That's what they get for working there. 

Step 2: Plane Lands on Portuguese Island, Flight Crew Goes to Hotel to rest up, Passengers Are Stuck in Secluded Terminal Because They Didn't Have Proper Documentation to Be in Portugal

The plane people shouldn't get to go to a hotel while your passengers hostages are stuck in a secluded waiting room. The blind fury that washes over you when an airline has to significantly delay your trip because the flight crew "wOrKeD tOo mAnY hOuRs" is unmatched. I'm sorry, are your tired? Can't get a plane load of 200+ people safely across the Atlantic ocean unless you get a full 8 hours of sleep? Grow up. Drink a coffee and take an adderall like an adult.

Step 3: Delta Refuses to Give Passengers Food or Water, Says They Ate Before the Flight, and Can Drink Water out of Bathroom Sink

Public bathroom water is not water. I'm not even convinced it would quench your thirst. Even in the most dire of situations, Portuguese island airport bathroom water will do nothing but accelerate your death. I don't care how dehydrated you are. 

And if you tell a group of hostages that you will be serving them food (which they claimed they would be), then you have to serve them fucking food. I don't care if there's not food at the airport. You're surrounded by water. Send your Portuguese street-legal flight attendants out on a boat and bring back a haul of tropical fish. It's the least they can do.

(I guess they eventually opened up a cafe in the airport, but the food wasn't complimentary. It should have been complimentary. Also they were selling ham sandwiches, and half of the passengers were of non-pork eating religions. So kind of a slap in the face all around)

Step 4: Delta Allegedly Instructed the Passengers to "Not Start a Revolution", Be Grateful That They're Allowing Them to Be There and Be Thankful The Plane Didn't Crash

Rule of thumb: if somebody is telling you to not start a revolution, that's a telltale sign a revolution needs to be started.

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And "Be grateful we're allowing you to be here" is an incredible threat. Like there's a world where the plane lands in Portugal and everyone on the flight gets thrown in jail for not having the proper papers to be in the country. Or maybe they send all the passengers deep into international waters where they're legally allowed to be. 

Also, setting the bar at "at least we didn't crash" is hilariously low. Airlines should use that line more often. No matter how terrible they fuck you over all day long, they can always say, "well be thankful we didn't kill you."

Get your shit together Tom Brady.