Clay Harbor Might Have Ended His NFL Career Getting Hurt on 'The Bachelorette'
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Last night was one of those historic nights of television you’ll be telling your grandkids about someday. Like Jack Ruby killing Oswald plus the moon landing times the final episode of M*A*S*H* to the power of Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl nipple shot. Just one iconic moment after another. Trump shaking hands with the leader of the most evil government of the most isolated nation on Earth. Dennis Rodman’s unforgettable meltdown. The Bachelorette getting interrupted in the middle of the rose ceremony to show Trump and Kim Jong Un signing a peace agreement. And history being made with the twin superlatives of Most Bizarre Bachelor Mishap and Lamest NFL Offseason Injury Ever.
The first is of no consequence. The guy who showed up in Episode 1 in a chicken suit fell out of a bunk bed and broke his fall with his face. Supposedly. The cameras didn’t catch the fall. Just his bandaged, bloodied and semi-conscious ass being hauled off in a stretcher by EMTs. The second is what fascinated me.
You may not remember Clay Harbor’s career with the Eagles, Jags, Patriots and Lions. Perhaps his 114 catches and 8 TDs over 7 seasons don’t come readily to mind. I remember his stint with the Pats more for him having a name like a Civil War battle site than his zero receptions during the short-lived Jimmy Garoppolo/Jacoby Brissett dynasty. But it was hard to miss this handsome devil as he pitched woo to Becca:
That is, until last night. When the producers decided to hold a 5-on-5 football game, the Becca Bowl, with the players playing tackle in hockey helmets for reasons that escaped me and, I think, most viewers:
And with Harbor quarterbacking a team of the types of guys who go on TV to compete for the affections of a total stranger by repeatedly insisting they can “be vulnerable” with her, he broke his goddamned wrist.
Now I have no doubt that weird offseason injuries are nothing new in pro football. I’m not under the delusion that because back in the day men were men who protected their bodies at all costs and besides were too tough and manly to ever get injured in a freakish way. It wouldn’t surprise me at all to hear that say, Paul Hornung fell down a flight of stairs drunk or Joe Namath got his dick stuck in some part of a cigarette girl from Toot Shoor’s. Hell, back in the 60s, Bob Gladieux of the Patriots got cut in the middle of the week, showed up to watch their game with beers in him, got paged to the sidelines, was told to suit up and made the tackle on the opening kick while half in the bag. Unlike what I said about Hornung and Namath, that actually happened.
But it’s hard to fathom a precedent for this. A 30-year-old tight end busting his wrist playing a not so-glorified game of touch football against male models, contractors, lawyers and various assorted emotionally needy narcissists in order to impress a chick just sounds like a first to me. And it’s a not the best look for a guy who claims he has some more football in him and is looking for work. Anyway, ABC was willing to keep him around. And Becca even gave him a rose. But he had to leave the show to go get it worked on and salvage his career. If this is the end of the line for former 4th round pick, it should retire the trophy of weirdest end to a career of all time. But on a positive note, I think it makes him leader in the clubhouse to be the next The Bachelor.