Introducing This Year's Winner Of "World's Ugliest Dog"
PETALUMA, Calif. — It’s that time of year again when dogs with unusually large heads, hairless bodies and other oddities compete to be the World’s Ugliest Dog. This year’s winner? A 2-year-old mutt named Peanut, whose wild white and brown hair, bulging eyes and protruding teeth belie his sweet, energetic personality. Peanut’s owner, Holly Chandler of Greenville, North Carolina, says he was seriously burned as a puppy and she wants to use her pet to raise awareness about animal abuse. She plans to use the $1,500 prize to pay for other animals’ veterinary bills.
Now there are two ways to look at this. The first way is to say, oh man, that dog is disgusting, get it out of my face, how terrifying. The second, and more appropriate response, is to realize that I am Peanut, you are Peanut, we are all Peanut. Because I don’t know about everyone else but a Monday morning in the summer is not exactly when I’m stylin’ and profilin’. A combination of a little too much too drink, little too much to eat, some sun, more booze, Monday morning creeping up way too fast and it’s not a pretty sight. Like I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror and you know what I saw? This.
Got that wonky bloodshot eye, my teeth hurt, my hair is a mess, my face looks like an ashtray, I’m Peanut. So do you man, because at the end of the day looking pretty is for stuck up assholes and chicks. Be yourself, that’s what I always tell myself, just be yourself. Also, the ugliest dog in the world is still better than the prettiest cat, that’s just a fact.