Dude Born Without A Penis Gets A Bionic Dick Transplant...Will Have An Artificial Erection For 10 Days
Daily Mail – A British man who was born without a penis is preparing to have sex for the first time after being fitted with a bionic manhood. Andrew Wardle successfully underwent the final stage of a £50,000 penile implant operation at University College Hospital London on Friday and has been given the all clear to finally lose his virginity. As a test run, the 44-year-old will have an erection for the next ten days before his implant is deflated. Doctors have told Andrew he must then wait six weeks before having sex with his long-term girlfriend Fedra Fabian. The successful phalloplasty operation – which involves having a pump fitted to create an erection – will allow Andrew to feel like any other man. While he is looking forward to having sex it is the addition of the male organ that will transform his life. He told MailOnline: ‘I’m very excited that I can move on now. But I think having sex for the first time is more of a big deal for everyone else than it is for me. ‘I’ve spent 44 years without a penis and I’ve coped with not having sex for all that time. It will take me a while to get in the swing of things. ‘Of course, I’m looking forward to it. But, for me, it’s not the be-all-and-end-all. It’s a by-product of the operation. It will enable me to feel part of society. He went on: ‘I’m feeling good because they’ve given me painkillers but I’m sure I will feel a bit sore later on. I do feel different. I’m very aware there’s some robotics inside me but it feels a part of me now. I’m very aware that I am half-human half-robot at the moment. I’m like the bionic man. I will even be able to perform if I am drunk.’ Andrew, from Manchester was born with bladder exstrophy, a rare birth defect that means the organ formed on the outside of his body. Although he has one testicle, the one-in-20-million condition meant Andrew was born without a penis.
Andrew Wardle has lived 44 years with no dick. 4 plus dickless decades with just one nut swangin, and a hole to pee out of. That has to be a harrowing existence. One of the hardest things a human man can endure.
And yet, hes about to face his hardest challenge yet. Andy is about to get outfitted with the sweetest dick EVER. Theres no way you get a mediocre dick transplant, right? Whoever the doctor is that knows how to perform this surgery is gonna hook you up with a hammerdick. He wants that clout from good Yelp Reviews. No chance he gives Andrew like a 4 and a quarter inch hog. So, our hero is about to go from no dick to a can of tennis balls between his leg. And as we understand it, he will also have a boner for TEN STRAIGHT DAYS…yet he has to refrain from using his new dick for 6 weeks! Do you see why this might be Andy’s greatest test yet? You live half your life with no dick…a miracle doctor swoops in…its Hammertime for you…but you can’t use it for almost 2 months. Thats like an episode of the Twilight Zone. Your life long dream comes true, but you can’t do anything with it. Its a literal cock tease. This dude understands the gravity of the situation. He’s out here describing himself as half man half amazing. He knows he’s got an robotic cock that can fuck all night long. No whiskey dick, no losing-your-virginity-jitters. This dude has Mjölnir hanging between his legs but he’s not allowed to swing it. Thats horrendous.
Not to mention this guy has gotta live a 10 day stretch with a hard on when hes never had one for a single minute. Does this dude even know about the Waistband Tuck? Does he know how hard it is to piss with a boner?
Its hard enough to handle a Random Public Boner for a few minutes at a time. Imagine 10 STRAIGHT DAYS? Ordinarily I’d say take vacation from work, lock yourself in a room and just beat that thing for half a month until it goes down, but doctor’s orders! Not allowed!
I know once you make it past that 10 day boner period, and that 6 week healing process, you’ve got the rest of your life to sling that iDick. But man oh man, that 10 day gauntlet and 6 weeks of blue balls is like going through hell to get to heaven. Like Andy Dufresne crawling through shit to make it to Zihuatanejo. Godspeed, Andrew Wardle. You and your brand new dick.