Boyfriend Gives His Cheating Girlfriend The Best Birthday Present Ever!
Justiiiiiiice has been seerrrrrrrrrved! Hubert, you dog! I would venture to guess that had this guy found out his girl was cheating on him with a David or a Mark, he would simply have yelled at her and ended the relationship in private. But Hubert… Hubert is a dagger that cuts too deep. It’s such an insult to your manhood. Hubert? A name we haven’t heard since Hubert Humphrey, who served as LBJ’s VP and lost to Nixon in 1968? Not exactly an inspiring fellow from history. Sure, there’s Hubert Davis of NBA fame, but I don’t think his 8.2 ppg was enough to inspire any parents to name their son for him. The point is, you can hear this boyfriend’s disdain and incredulity that his girl would cheat with a Hubert. “You been cheating on me with a dude named Hubert.” Hubert works in IT. Hubert sells moccasins at the trading post. Hubert loves craisins. Hubert makes a mean artichoke dip but doesn’t watch the game. Hubert is NOT Mr. Steal-yo-girl.
I don’t think I have it in me to set up a trap like this. It takes a special type of person that can find out that their girlfriend/boyfriend is cheating on them and immediately start scheming up a revenge plot. I would be too angry. I’d show all my cards with 300 texts that range from “how could you do this to me?!” to “we can work through this” to “I’m sending an Uber rush with your toothbrush to your place, please venmo me $14, have a good life.” I admire someone who can sit on that anger and let it fuel them into spinning a web that will trap the snake they’re dating. They finally let it all out with the big reveal, and they film the whole thing and blast it out and go viral, ruining the cheater’s reputation and growing their social media presence in one fell swoop.
“You really want to do this on my birthday?” she says. Not really grasping the gravity of your situation here, toots. At this point, she still has hope. She thinks she’s calling the shots because it’s her birthday and girls treat every birthday like its a combination of their bat mitzvah, baptism, the funeral of their parents, and their wedding day. Wrong, you sneaky wench! It’s like when Brendan Dassey asked if he could go back to class after *confessing* to rape and murder. Factors like birthdays and third period gym class are no longer relevant. We passed those exits a long time ago, kids.