Seeing Rajon Rondo In A Lakers Jersey Is Going To Kick Me Right In The Dick

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Here I was, pissed off that I was still at work because a meeting ran late, I walk out and immediately open Twitter because anytime you’re locked away for over an hour this time of year you without a doubt miss something. Naturally my biggest fear was confirmed when I saw this news. That my beloved Rajon Rondo was joining those cocksuckers in LA. Now I know what you’re thinking, that Rondo hasn’t been a Celtic in years, they traded him away and he’s worn a million different jerseys since 2014 so why should this be any different. Listen I can’t tell you why it is, but it is for me and probably every Celtics fan out there. Rondo on the Lakers? Why don’t you kick me right in the dick and then get out of the way as I vomit everywhere. Immediately my brain went to he’s just being a mole for Ainge after all these years to break up any chemistry in LA, but I can’t even get myself to believe that. On one hand I’m happy he’s getting paid, but on the other hand it makes me want to claw my eyes out.

If I can be honest, Rondo was the best pure passing point guard I ever saw while he was a member of the Celtics. If you think I was an Isaiah stan, oh boy you should have seen me when it came to Rajon Rondo. Him tearing his ACL was maybe a Top 10 worst moment of my life, despite the fact that he still dominated in the game in which he got hurt. It was one thing to see Isaiah play as a Laker, but to me it was an entirely different situation. We as Celtics fans have true history with Rondo and we always will. It’s why I was so happy to see him flourish in NO and make the playoffs, because the proved that he was far from washed up. But now, now I have to hate him. That kills me. I could never dream of a world in which I would have to turn on Rondo, but I can’t do it. I’m already sick just thinking about seeing him in the purple and gold, I’m praying the Lakers somehow trade him. You don’t need another guard Magic, please spare me.

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    Personally I would have loved to see him on like PHX or something, or really any other fucking team in the league. I’ll always remember being in attendance when Rondo came back to the Garden for the first time and made like 5 threes in a row, it was definitely hard to watch. I cannot imagine what it’s going to be like when he returns to the Garden as a Laker. Do we cheer? Do we boo? Do we cheer during lineups but boo during the game? I hate everything about having to worry about this.

    I know I shouldn’t be worked up about this, but it hit me like a ton of bricks, that’s how deep my hatred is for this team out West. Now they have one of my favorite Celtics of all time and the internet is going to be littered with Rondo to LeBron alley oops. God dammit.

    OK, cue it up, it’s time to remember the good times one last time before we all have to hate this guy. What a sad day.