After Last Night's Game, I Am Convinced That This Generation Of Yankee Fans Is The Worst Of All
I’m gonna try to make this quick since this game means absolutely nothing to the Red Sox, along with the rest of the games they’ve played since they clinched the best record in baseball.
Yankee fans, what happened to you guys? Is it just that the old school Yankee fans aren’t on social media? Is it that I’m only seeing the reactions from the new Yankee fans who were too young to remember Derek Jeter’s glory days? I mean, my God. I remember back in the late 90’s, early 2000’s, I HATED the Yankees, but I would at least respect their fans because they were so knowledgable about baseball.
Now you’ve got the Hubbs Era where they’re going BANANAS over beating the Red Sox in a game where Boston threw six different pitchers out there, and only one of them is a MAYBE to make the playoff roster. A maybe! This all started last October when they were bragging about making it farther in the playoffs than the Red Sox. We went from bragging about rings to bragging about who lasted longer before being eliminated. It bothers me; it really does. Where did these smart, prideful Yankee fans go?
My best guess, like I said, is that they just don’t use social media and the ones that you see on there now have no idea what winning is like. Not 2009 winning, either. We’re talking sustained success. These can’t be the same people. The 27 rings crowd can’t be the same crowd that boasts about beating a collection of pitchers in a meaningless game who either aren’t making the playoff roster or have a case for a solid maybe.
On top of all that, these new fans are simply too dumb to insult. I make a joke about an NL pitcher having half as many RBI as Aaron Judge this month, and Yankee fans either don’t know that Gio Gonzalez is a pitcher or they’re just so psychotically obsessed with Judge that they’ll defend him anyway against a tongue in cheek comparison.
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And then to top it off, Hubbs, the face of the Yankees franchise here at Barstool Sports, is so stupid that he actually tweeted this:
Clearly still salty about the “Yankee Stadium is a joke” tweets and blogs after that trio of 340-foot home runs in their previous series against the Red Sox at Yankee Stadium, Yankee fans had a ball last night with the whole dimensions thing.
Even the Yankees’ official Twitter account got into the action. Fenway Park has unique ballpark dimensions, one thousand percent, and Yankee fans cite the 302-foot distance to the right field foul pole all the time. The only problem with that is that they act like it’s 302 feet around the entire right field bullpen area.
It’s 302 at a point, and then it jets out to 380, which means that all three of the Yankees’ homers that everyone said were a joke would’ve landed at least 30 feet in front of the warning track at Fenway. That’s why Yankee Stadium is a joke. It’s an entire outfield section, not just one foul pole. They also love saying that it’s 310 to left field, but conveniently forget to leave out the part that the wall is 37 feet high once you get 310 feet down the line.
Not to pat ourselves on the back here, but the ballpark dimensions Twitter war one thousand percent started with Barstool Boston writers’ tweets and Feits’ blog. Hubbs disagrees, because, again, he’s dumb.
Not that special, I would agree, but my pregame routine consists of shooting the shit with the best hitter in baseball in the Red Sox dugout, while your pregame routine consists of eating Doritos on your couch and crying while masturbating.
By the way, Hicks’ home run was 400 feet. He wasn’t laughing at Fenway Park for being a “joke of a stadium.” I think someone in the Yankee dugout said, “When you hit first base, try to picture what Hubbs would look like if he recreated the ‘Paint me like one of your French girls’ scene from Titanic.”
Yankees clinched home field in the Wild Card game, though. That’s huge. Because now I can go. With Hubbs. And Dallas Braden. And a cameraman. To Yankee Stadium. It’d be a shame if…you know…something happened to the Yankees’ season that night. A reaaaal shame.