Adorable Twitter Story About Love At Yale Does NOT Go Where You Think It's Going

Dear Yale: “may be” is a compound word. As in, maybe. Fucking Yale.

“MAYBE” YOU IDIOT.

A pizza place bustling? Late at night in a college town? You don’t say.

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At this point, I 100% thought this was the origin story for an elderly lesbian couple. I assumed the narrator was a woman because she took her best friend’s daughter and a group of her friends to a concert. That’s a bit weird if you’re an older man. Like here comes Andy, my dad’s poker friend, to take us girls to a concert again! Anyway, our lady narrator is now sitting at a late-night pizza joint, out of breath, staring at some mysterious woman next to her? Touching lesbian origin story made sense.

Lesbian story still holds up.

When someone inserts an apostrophe when it’s not needed, it makes me want to fight them. You’ve gone out of your way to look stupid. “Garlic knots, we’re they?” Listen, you illiterate doorknob– you’d have been better off doing nothing. No punctuation needed there. But you added it and now we know you don’t understand how contractions work.

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Still good with the love story. They’re bonding over carbs and clearly she likes cats.

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Hmmm. Husbands? Well, maybe they both got divorced and swore off men for life. I’ve seen it before. Happens to Carrabis on Sundays.

This was where I started to get confused… oh, she’s famous? Humble brag that your wife is famous, I guess. Stop playing coy and get to the point, please.

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Ah. That’s good. Ok, you redeemed yourself lady. I liked it. That’s better than the lesbian love story. Good twist. M Night Shabalabadingdong would be proud.