The Bradys Did Halloween Right
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Dammit all. Tom Brady even does Halloween right. He’s days away from facing Aaron Rodgers for just the second time in their careers. Earlier in the day, Rogers is asked about him playing so well at age 41 and says “Tom Brady is an outlier. He’s a unicorn.” And within hours, he puts his Rapid Response Team to work and comes up the perfect reply. He dresses the family up as unicorns. And for himself?
A goddamned nightmare. Green Bay’s nightmare. Something that crawled right out of the darkest corners of your subconscious where only your greatest, primordial fears are stored. It’s said that if you walk backwards down a staircase saying “The Lord’s Prayer” in reverse, this will be waiting at the bottom. I try to lead a reasonably moral life because this what I picture will be waiting for me if I don’t. Just me and this clown in a windowless room, watching the DVD of America’s Game: The 2007 New York Giants on constant repeat for eternity.
Terrifying. Stark raving terrifying. Made only more so by the overdose of high-fructose adorableness outside the door. But then again, nothing in the world, the spirit world or the underworld could be as scary for the rest of football than the sound of this blood-curdling scream:
How soon is kickoff?