I Don't Think I've Ever Seen A Human Being Bleed As Much As Blood As UFC Welterweight Alex Oliveira Just Bled

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    Gunnar Nelson just made his long awaited return to the octagon at UFC 231 against Alex “Cowboy” Oliveira, annnnnd uh…he made a horror movie out of it!

    After facing some adversity caused mostly by an egregious, shameful fence grab in the first, Gunni recovered with a late heel hook attempt, and then in the second, opened Oliveira up with a hellbow from full mount, causing a pretty much immediate stop to the contest, cause, well…duh. When a human being pours blood out of their face like a god damn fire hydrant it’s probably time to stop fighting.

    It’s times like these I see the late, great, John McCain’s point about this sport being barbaric human cockfighting. It’s also times like these I rip my shirt off and flex til’ I pass out, because THIS IS THE MOTHAFUCKIN’ UFC, WHERE THE BIG BOYS PLAY, AND I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF THE VIOLENCE!!!

    Congrats to Gunni on the win, and congrats to the best coach in the world, John Kavanagh, on a fantastic night for his fighters! Sláinte!

    P.S. Special shoutout to Dallas Braden and his wife for that fucking hysterical reactionary Twitter vid.