The Odds Are Out: Who Will Rule Westeros At The End Of The Game Of Thrones?
***SPOILERS (obviously)***
I feel like every 6 months or so, we see a tweet like this go out and everyone examines it for days because you should always follow the money. The minute Donald Trump went from longshot to favorite over Hillary Clinton in Vegas during the 2016 election, I knew he was about to become the 45th President of the United States. However since these are the odds before the final season comes out and any potential spoilers leak, they are as fair as they ever are going to be.
Lets break it down the contestants:
Jon Snow +175
As boring a bet as you will get and this is coming from a huge Jon Snow guy. Don’t get me wrong, picking the guy whose backstory is literally a song of fire and ice (the title of the books) is a great idea. But if you are going to bet Jon Snow, you might as well bet the Golden State Warriors to win the NBA championship while you are at it. I know that Barstool Sports is the home to countless degenerates that specialize in losing bets. But I say save your money and bet it on something other than straight chalk.
Bran Stark +250
The Branwagon keeps on chugging baby! CHOO CHOOOOOOO!!! Going from a cripple that barely survived the first episode to having the 2nd best odds of winning the Game of Thrones is nothing short of remarkable for Bran Stark. I know he has his haters for being a weirdo and not fixing all of Westeros’ problems in one episode despite having the entire history of the world uploaded into his brain. But maybe, just maybe Bran has a plan here. (Infinity War spoiler) Dr. Strange went into the future and saw all the potential ways the Avengers could beat Thanos and ended up handing over the time stone because it was the only way they could win. Did anyone give him shit for it? Of course not. However, Bran hasn’t had to walk for himself in like a decade and looks like a privileged dipshit that just got back from studying abroad and won’t stop telling you how much living in a place that has English listed as their second language changed his life. Maybe everything Bran has done/not done was for a reason too. And lest we forget that Bran was the person that finally was able to take down Littlefinger, the most unstoppable force in the show. I’d say to bet on Bran, but to be honest you already missed your window for getting any sort of value for it.
Daenarys Targaryen +250
Dany being this low despite being the only person in the entire land with 2 dragons shows just how unstable a bet she is. However, everything about her story seems to lead us to the logical conclusion that she learned how to lead through trial and error in Essos, has a pure heart that wants to liberate the enslaved, and truly wants to break the wheel instead of bring more of the same suffering that previous rulers have. Plus again, she has two flying, firebreathing monsters that would fuck up shit in 2018, let alone in old ass Westeros (it would be three dragons if the Night King didn’t have a laser, rocket arm with pinpoint accuracy. But that was another lesson learned for Dany). Like Jon Snow, this is a pretty boring bet in my humble opinion.
Arya Stark +900
A fool’s bet. Arya is out for revenge, not the Iron Throne. Once she checks every name off her list with the blood of her rivals, she is going to disappear to a beach and live the good life. She has too much of her dad in her to give a fuck about the Iron Throne anyway. Arya is Creasy Bear in Man On Fire and she is about to paint her masterpiece then fade away into bolivian and wear dead peoples faces whenever she gets bored.
The Night King +900
If George R.R. Martin has taught us anything, it’s that the living people in this story are the real bad guys. Trent has said in the past that he is rooting for the White Walkers and I am pretty close to joining him. Think of all the awful things the living have done in this story. The beheading of Ned Stark, Joffrey’s reign as king, Ramsey Bolton’s entire existence, Littlefinger’s countless betrayals, Robin Arryn dropping motherfuckers from the moon door for fun, the Red Wedding, Oberyn Martell’s head getting popped like a grape. All heinous acts committed by the living. Meanwhile the White Walkers just march straight ahead and mind their own business. Sure if you are in their way, they will slaughter you and everyone you love. But once they are done, they will bring you back to life(ish) and continue their journey south. If there is one person I am rooting for outside of Bran Stark, it is the Night King. And if they are indeed the same person as the popular theory suggests, even better. Winter has been coming for 7 seasons and it looks like season 8 is the one where it hits everyone directly in the eyeball.
Tyrion Lannister +1000
Tyrion is the prototypical fun guy at the party. He can drink, he can tell jokes, he can do awesome dick tricks if you are into that sort of thing. But he is not made to be a king. This isn’t a slight on little people either. If Barstool became a cutthroat political drama like Game of Thrones, there is nobody I would root for to take over Dave’s corner office more than Zah. But Tyrion just doesn’t have what it takes to be king. Betting on him would be simply betting for the guy that you want to win, not who you think is going to win. As someone that has bet on the Giants to win the Super Bowl every year for the last 5 years, I can confirm this is an easy way to lose your money.
Sansa Stark +1300
I feel like Sansa would be the sentimental pick to end up on the throne. Nobody has had to live through the horrors that she has had to live through and fulfilling the dream she had of being the queen except with most of her family dying along the way seems just like something that sick son of a bitch George R.R. Martin would write.
Cersei Lannister +1600
Picking the person currently on the Iron Throne to end up there during the closing credits is dumber than picking the NFL team that looks the best in Week 1 to win the Super Bowl. Maybe even worse because everyone is gunning for you and the throne. Cersei’s highlight was the set up and destruction of the Sept of Baelor, which resulted in her sitting on the Iron Throne.
There is no way she will be able to top that moment or stay on the throne until the end of the series. It’s just not feasible in this show, no matter how much Euron Greyjoy fucks shit up for her against the alliance in Winterfell. Cersei may be the baddest bitch to ever grace a television screen, but I just can’t see her making it to the end as queen.
Gendry +1800
Gendry reappearing on Thrones instead of vanishing forever like the Russian in The Sopranos was already a humongous upset. But for him to end up atop the throne as Robert’s bastard son seems both unlikely and unfilfilling. The guy already hit the sheets with Melisandre and played a role in the suicide squad mission North of The Wall, so anything extra is just gravy at this point for him.
Samwell Tarly +2000
There is no way that George R.R. Martin would allow some fat guy obsessed with books to end up as the king of Westeros, right?
*Thinks about it for a minute*
Fuuuuuuuck, Sam is definitely going to end up as the king of Westeros, isn’t he? I suppose he is worth a $10 flier in case GRRM was feeling himself while plotting out the final book that he is never going to finish. On the bright side, at least all those God awful scenes with Gilly would have been worth it.
Jamie Lannister +2500
Love the guy, but everything about Jaime Lannister says he is the redemption story that ends up sacrificing himself for the good of the land, most likely while taking down his evil sister. There are prophecies, foreshadowing, callbacks, and probably a few Chekhov’s guns that say this is the case. Plus I don’t think you can end up as the big winner in a TV show if you threw a kid out of a window in the first episode of said TV show. There is an unwritten rule about that somewhere in Hollywood.
I don’t see The Field here, but I feel like Varys would be a decent longshot bet just because a schemer has just as good a shot as any and now that Littlefinger is dead (again, shout out Bran), Varys is just as good a bet as any. I would love Bronn to end up on top just because it would teach the valuable life lesson of always being willing to sell out for the right price. And if we are being honest, the best potential ruler for Westeros hasn’t even been mentioned yet.
Gangsta.
