This "Pick Your All-Time Band For $25" Is So Flawed It's Almost Comical
I assume Springsteen is worth more than $25 and thus isn’t available for the audition? Bob Dylan, Eddie Vedder, Buddy Holly, Kurt Cobain, Johnny Cash and countless others, too? I dislike women doing anything outside of the 3 C’s (cooking, cleaning, cocktickling) as much as the next man but Janis Joplin and a couple other hoochies probably deserve a chance to be picked. Hell, Elvis is known as The King Of Rock And Roll and isn’t even on here.
Verdict: Flawed. But for shit’s and giggles, we’ll humor the masses.
FRONTMAN: Fuck it.
Just because Jimi Hendrix plays an instrument he can’t be considered a front man? Because if there’s a front man to end all front man, it’s Jimi Hendrix. Fuck it. It’s called multi-tasking. One of my guitarists is also going to stand in on vocals.
LEAD GUITAR/VOCALS: Eric Clapton
I would love to have Jimi in this spot, but since I’m white I can only listen to him and not hear him. Therefore, I’m going to have to go with value here. Probably the 2nd greatest guitarist of all time behind Hendrix. An absolute steal for $4.
RHYTHM GUITAR: Pete Townshend
John Mayer on this list in general let alone having him at $7 in the Rhythm Guitar category is a travesty to music. Infuriating, actually. But it’s really a toss up between Page and Pete with the amount of bankroll we have left. Literally a coin flip.
BASS/LEAD VOCALS: Paul McCartney
$2! For the price of a King Sized Twix I can get one of the greatest Singer/Songwriters of all-time by just having him strum the bass and keep rhythm. Would love me some Flea on stage, but don’t want any DeSean Jacksons wanting to stand out at this position. You have to know the role with this instrument, and it’s in the background unless you’re singing.
DRUMS: John Bonham
The most underrated part of the group deserves the best sort of talent. Buddy Rich is the best drummer of all-time but A) Isn’t on the list and B) Would verbally rip out your soul for breathing around him – You think the Mel Gibson tapes was pure rage then listen to Buddy Rich tear into his band. Gotta go with the man who drove Led Zepplin into super stardom.
Clapton, Richards, Sir Paul, Bonham with a dollar to spare to bring on Jim Morrison if he can hold it together for an hour without tripping the fuck out. Now that’s a first ballot R&R HOF lineup. Now feel free to tell me how much your starting lineup shits on mine.