You Can Buy A Butt-Shaped Pillow To Sleep On Or You Can Just Get A Girlfriend, Loser

Daily Mail-  An online retailer has sent shoppers into a frenzy with a new pillow shaped like a butt. 

Buttress Pillow, a US-based company funded by a Kickstarter campaign, has launched an eponymous product that is shaped like the bottom and upper thighs. 

The $89 (£71) product boasts a ‘sweet spot’ between the cheeks and thighs that it claims is perfect for cradling the head, whether users want to sleep on their sides, backs or fronts.

I mean, I guess? There are “boyfriend pillows” shaped like actual human torsos to help you sleep, why wouldn’t we make butt pillows as well?

I won’t lie, I’m kind of curious about it. The reviews say it really helps with neck pain. That’s a noble thing. Once I hit the age of 21 I had to start sleeping on one of those special foam pillows because apparently I’m actually 94 and can’t just sleep on normal pillows without not being able to move my neck all day. Still, I can’t imagine the level of lonely you have to be to actually purchase this.

It’s the same thing with the boyfriend pillows. I’m sure they’re very comfortable, I’m sure I would genuinely really like it, but there’s something about it that makes me cringe. Buying a butt pillow is worse. It’s the equivalent of adopting a bunch of cats and not shaving your legs. Owning a butt pillow says “hello, I’ve given up on interacting with actual human beings”. It’s a sad admission of singleness. If you’re going to be single, at least be dignified about it, you know?

People take the covers off the pillows and put thongs on them. That’s fucking weird! Please just get a girlfriend, or hire a hooker to sleep on her ass if you really think you need this. It’s shocking that these are sold and even more shocking that people buy them, butt to each his own I guess!!