In Response To Whitesoxdave's (Attempted) Philly Diss
So a guy, Dale, in a town of less than 8,000 people about 120 miles outside of Philadelphia, PA gets caught stealing guitars, briefly mentions the Eagles (Go Birds!) as police escort him to jail, and Whitesuxdave takes the opportunity to say,
“If this guy doesn’t perfectly embody everything about Philly, I don’t know what does. Just such, such a JV city.”
Going off that dumpster fire logic I guess I’ll take this story from Decatur, IL & say, “Welp, that’s Chicago for ya.”
But you know what, we’ve been known to eat a little shit ourselves so let’s move onto the next part where WSDave attempts to take a swing at our summer habits & misses.
This guitar thief in particular without question has a wife and slew of kids back at home in his 2 bed, 1 bath apartment, all of whom have faces that look like beat up catchers mitts from years of sitting in tanning beds and summers of smoking crack on on the Seaside Heights boardwalk.
If you actually knew anything about us you’d know Seaside Heights is not where we take our leathery tan faces & smoke crack on the boardwalk. That’s a fist-pumping, GTL North Jersey thing, of which we’re not associated. We’re more of a Brigantine to Wildwood crew & we only do our crack below the boardwalk and at night, the classy way. Speaking of, where do you guys do yours?
Oh.
Well hey, kill two birds with one rock. Get high & travel at the same time & then you’ve got a whole afternoon for a leisurely meal with the ‘ol lady.
I was really looking forward to seeing you guys at the Electric Chair this weekend, maybe even having a Malort n’ beef. Now I’m not so sure we should meat.
To end it, WSDave jabs at Dale, who in addition to not being from Philly, will not ever see Dave’s blog.
Bear weather, 40 MPH winds piping in straight off the lake, and rabid Bears fans with an insatiable thirst for playoff success is not gonna make his weekend stay in a 5×5 jail cell fun. And I say weekend stay because I’m making the safe assumption that he isn’t able to afford posting bail.
Bold. I’ll be looking out for those rabid Bears fans.
Until then, hit it Delcodelphia…
*It’s been brought to my attention I spelled “diss” wrong (dis) in the title of my own attempted diss blog. I have self-dissed. #sad