Ever Wonder What It Would Look Like If You Drunkenly Smacked A Porcupine On The Ass?
BRAZIL – After confusing a porcupine with an opossum, Antonio Rodrigues Mororó, 50, from Niterói, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, was left with almost 400 porcupine quills stuck in his hand. During a party at Mr Mororó’s home, one of his son’s said that his pregnant wife was afraid to enter the house because the animal was sitting on a wall by the entrance stairs. So, in a bid to remove it, Mr Mororó slapped the animal, resulting in him receiving a handful of quills.
Ouch. Yeah…probably shouldn’t have done that. Time to put porcupines up there with bears, sharks and Melissa McCarthy during feeding time on the list of beasts not to tread on. But the main issue is the dude initially thought it was an opossum and still tried to bitch slap it to the next generation with his bare hand. Fuck that. Forget risking yourself to disease, opossums are scary little shits. Like ugly, rabid Gremlins possessed with something from the Devil. No way I’d ever touch one of those things unless it was with the car at 40mph. The least he could’ve done is pull the Mrs. Gump when coons come up the back porch and just chase em off with a broom.