If You're Dreading A Date, There's Probably A Reason
You may or may not remember, but last week I bailed on a date. I did NOT want to go on it. I bitched about it for a full week and ended up canceling last minute because I don’t typically force myself to do shit I don’t want to. But then, everyone got in my head. Did I cancel the date because I wasn’t interested or because I’m scared of dating? Or because I’m lazy? Or because I didn’t have an outfit? Did I have a legitimate reason not to go or was my anxiety making it up in my head? So when the guy texted me and asked if I wanted to go out this week, I said yes, and I made the executive decision to go.
WELL. You know what? I don’t know why no one listens to me. I am OFTEN right. The date? Not excellent. Did not care for it. It started off rough, because I was a few minutes late (because I was stalling at the office listening to legitimately anybody talk about anything. Shoutout to Brett Merriman and Coley for helping me waste time). The bar was down the street, so it took me one (far too short) minute to get there.
The bar itself was actually cool, it was a speakeasy in the back of a café. It was so dark we couldn’t read the menus so the waitress had to blindly recommend drinks to us, and we both ended up with super weird cocktails because neither of us knew wtf half the alcohol she was naming was. I got a pear infused tequila thing with mezcal and alpine liquor and some kind of spice that made it taste like applesauce? Not super sure what I drank, but I digress.
Look, there was nothing all that wrong with the guy. He was handsome, and he was VERY very nice. But there was nothing else. Nice isn’t a personality trait. Nice is like, the very least thing you should be. I would rather almost any other adjective than “nice”. Because you know what just “nice” is? It’s boring. There was no playful messing around, no flirting, and we ran out of things to talk about within an hour. It was to the point where I had to pretend I needed to go back to the office to help KFC with the Barstool Gold AMA just so I could leave.
A few weird things:
– he talked to me about his ex, like a lot
– he told me that he “knows I’m not looking for anything serious” but is interested in something “casual”. Like damn, if you want to bone you can just say that? He literally goes “you don’t have to date me” and I said “Yeah, I’m not going to date you”
– he got all weird about MY ex, asked me what was “up with that guy” and asked if he was taller than him. Dead serious. That’s fucking weird.
Look, in the end it’s nothing on him, it’s just that I have had more interesting conversations with every single guy in this office than I had with him. Handsome is great, and nice is great, but that shit is so superficial. What I’m looking for is someone I never run out of shit to talk about with, someone who makes me laugh, someone who’s fun. That’s it. And I don’t even want something “casual” with someone who’s not at least fun. Actually, my mom said it best:
So, another bad date to add to the roster. Maybe i’ll get em next time, maybe I won’t, but hey– it’s all content, right?
(actually we talked about whether you should cancel on a date or not on Schnitt Talk– check it out)