The Most Sweet NHL Guys To Watch Because The Blackhawks Suck
This is a blog for the casual NHL fan. The fan that wakes up in February after the Super Bowl in a panic because there is NOTHING on tv until April, looks at the standings for the first time and is shocked to see Toews and Kane at the bottom of the league. Who do you watch? Guess what…I’ve got you. With the All-Star Game coming up this weekend I want to give you my list of favorite guys to watch for pure entertainment purposes. The guys who are fun. The guys who are just fucking sweet.
When I say “sweet” I mean…I don’t know exactly. It’s like porn. You can’t define it, but you know it when you see it and when you see it you get a bit of a blood rush. Ken Griffey Jr was the epitome of sweet. Smooth, cool, makes everything look easy. Dwyane Wade…so sweet. Walter Payton…the sweetest. In the 90s that guy for me was Pavel Bure. Hockey shit ton of guys who are sweet who aren’t necessarily All-Stars this year. I want you to want to watch these guys when they’re on National TV because they won’t disappoint.
Left Wing: Matthew Tkachuk
I will always have a soft spot for hard-asses and Matthew Tkachuk is the modern day Michael Jordan of being a sonofabitch. There’s literally a video called “12 Minutes Of Matthew Tkachuk Pissing People Off” and that was just from his rookie year.
Any game with Matthew Tkachuk has a power-keg element. It could boil over at any time because he’s an asshole and he’s awesome. The ultimate power forward. I love him. If he’s on TV my eyes are on him and that’s the definition of star who is sweet. A guy you actively try to watch.
Center: Mathew Barzal
Best skater in the league. Period. Can move basically as fast laterally as he can forward. Good luck staying in front him. He just makes people look stupid and he makes people forget about John Tavares who is objectively one of the most boring people whoever lived
Right Wing: Patrick Kane Of Course, but also Mikko Rantanen
Patrick Kane is the sweetest. Everyone knows that. Definition of sweet. Silky. Can do everything. He is so sweet that he can overcome his hair. This is a blog for the casual fan though and after 10 years everyone knows about Patrick Kane. They might not know about Mikko though. Mikko is just an easy guy to play with. Or at least that’s what is looks like. MacKinnon and Landeskog get cookie goals all the time because Rantanen has eyes all around his head. Every pass is right in the wheelhouse. I watch him and feel like I could score 15-20 on his line. Get your stick down and head up because Mikko is going to find you. That line is pure electricity.
Defense: Charlie McAvoy
I think I like McAvoy largely because he has a bit of a fat face.
Being awesome while having a fat face is the dream. Or at least it is for me because I have a bit of fat face. McAvoy always has a look that he doesn’t have a care in the world but then he just absolutely runs your show. Power play, big shot, he’ll throw a big hit when appropriate. He skates so well. Fluid and easy. LOVE Charlie McAvoy. Wish he was a Hawk so badly.
Defense: Roman Josi
The opposite of McAvoy in the face department so FUCK Roman Josi. He’s like a legit model. It’s obnoxious.
Hate him, but…he’s so sweet. He has some Nik Lidstrom in him. A guy who plays like a ghost. He seemingly appears out of nowhere to take away space and the puck and then jumps in the play on the offensive end and causes all sorts of problems. He’s quiet on the ice. You don’t notice him until it’s too late and I appreciate that even if I hate his guts.
Goalie: Carey Price
As a general rule of thumb goalies are NOT sweet and they’re definitely not as sweet as they used to be. There’s no Eddie Belfour or Dominic Hasek anymore. All goalies today are robots and the best robot of the bunch is Carey Price. He’s a freak of nature. Game changer. Best goalie in the world.
So on Thursday when you’re scrolling through the channels and longing for a Jags-Titans game, click over to the NHL Network or NBC Sports. If one of these guys are playing give it a shot. Wait until at least a commercial break. Odds are that they’ll do something unreal and you’ll be hooked. Playoffs are around the corner and it’s looking like all of these will make it. We just need to survive until then and these 6 guys will help you get there.