Jojo Siwa Needs To Be Stopped
Well. Never did I think that some day, I’d be writing a blog about a 15 year old girl who scares me more than cults, serial killers, and the Chuck E. Cheese mascot (Charles Entertainment Cheese) combined, but here we are.
This isn’t going to a blog where I tear Jojo Siwa apart, because again, she’s 15 years old. It’s not that I dislike her, or that I think she sucks or anything like that, this is purely about the fact that she is absolutely terrifying and I think she could take over the planet pretty easily if she wanted to.
First of all, she has so much fucking ENERGY. I don’t think I had that much energy when I was 7 years old, let alone at 15. When I was 15, a lot of my friends were already drinking and interacting with penises. I thought I was wayyyyy too cool for any color, I literally wore black and grey every day like it was my job. I didn’t want anyone to look at me, I was so awkward, and there’s about a 0.0% chance in HELL that I could have danced like that on national television. That’s what I mean. She’s too confident at 15. There’s something unnatural about it. No 15 year old has that kind of confidence.
Secondly, she literally sold 45 MILLION BOWS LAST YEAR. I need you to think about that number. 45. MILLION. She is commanding an army of young children who’ve gotten their parents to spend 135 MILLION DOLLARS ON BOWS. That’s power the likes of which we rarely see. This girl could get her 5 million pre-teen followers to do literally anything. Logan Paul had her on his podcast once. Do you know what their combined 15 million children could do to this world? Talk about influence. That’s fucking terrifying.
Also……..
She’s 5’9″. She’s taller than me, and she could easily kill me if she wanted.
But the thing about her is that she wouldn’t– she’s like the most positive sunflower that exists right now. She’s more positive than I am by a degree of about a million and that’s truly saying something. Imagine what would happen if she took that positive energy and decided one day to like, become the dictator of a small country and order her army of children to enforce a mass dress code of glittery pink bows for all. AND THEY WOULD DO IT.
So look, all I’m saying is, Jojo Siwa isn’t harming anyone…. yet. But we have no guarantee that she won’t in the future. So for the good of this nation, we need to stop Jojo Siwa from becoming any more powerful.