Liquor Company Pours All Their Booze Over Naked Chicks Before Bottling It For Consumption

Daily Caller - You haven’t truly lived until you have tasted premium liquor that was first dribbled down the bare chest of an international Playboy model. Since not everyone is lucky enough to do this on a nightly basis, German liquor company G-Spirits has created limited-edition bottles of whiskey, vodka and rum that all go through one very special step before bottling: Each drop of liquor is poured down the bare breasts of a naked model before it’s packaged for your imbibing pleasure. Seriously. “…for us there is nothing more than the erotism [sic] of a beautiful woman. To create the perfect taste we let every single drop of our spirits run over the breasts of a special type of woman, a type we recognize in this liquor. This sensuality awakens the true character of our brands and gives them an identity, a soul, a spirit, a G-Spirit.”

Now anyone who knows KFC knows he loves flavored vodka. Thats my shit. Yea yea yea, I’m a chick. KFC you faggot why don’t you drink Jameson! Real men drink whiskey. Blah blah blah. Gimme some espresso flavored Vodka or some Cafe Patron and I’m in heaven. Orange flavored vodka, whipped cream Pinnacle. Fireball whiskey with the cinnamon that tastes just like Big Red. I love all that shit.

So I guess the question is, do I like titty flavored vodka? I suppose on the surface it sounds kinda hot. But do I really wanna rip shots of some rum that trickled down some Puerto Rican girl’s ass? Vodka that came out of a chick’s belly button? I don’t care how hot you are, you know how gross belly buttons get? Filled with lint and all sorts of gunk. Don’t get me wrong, I’d gladly lick any sort of booze directly off a smoke’s naked body. But if the smoke is completely out of the picture I don’t think I need any titty booze run off. Don’t wanna think about a g-string being wrung out for my G-spirits.