Introducing Falcon Sex Hats: They're Real And They're Spectacular

If you don’t think I’m going to buy a falcon sex hat and have a falcon fuck my brains out, you don’t know me at all. I can’t wait to don one of these bad boys and have all the falcons in your neck of the woods coming calling for that sweet, sweet relief.

Imagine we are sitting there whilst enjoying a lovely picnic. The meal? Sandwiches. The type? PB&J. I’m polishing off a bag of chips and that’s when a falcon lands on a branch near our table.

“Shhhh. shhhh…” I say to you. “The falcon. He’s horny.”

Your mouth falls open as you catch a little look at his bird benis.

Next thing you know, when my brain is rockin, dont come a knockin.

We have collected more falcon semen than we ever thought possible and it’s all because of this hat. Incredible. Anyway, let’s see em in action.