Reader Email: Rate Our Fantasy Football League's Last Place Punishment

Carl –  My buddy ends up in last place for the Fantasy Football season. Punishment agreed on was to be placed on a billboard around Chicago with face and number for a month (and he had to pay for it). Ended up getting a deal with another buddy that works with media company, so we were given 3 digital billboards scattered around town (Lakeview – Broadway and Diversey), River North (State and Ontario) and I-55, just South of Solider Field going Northbound, pics attached.

Fantasy football punishments are kind of tricky. You need to be creative yet mean, but not mean enough to ruin the least temperamental guy in the group. You want people to know but you don’t want to be a loser. And of course, it has to be something you guys can bust balls about 2 months before and several months after. Personally I’ve been lobbying for the low-man in my league to legally flip flop his first and middle name for a calendar year but I’m struggling to get that one pushed through. Maybe it’s time I start looking at billboards?

This works for me on several levels: personal number is exposed. The headshot is extremely creepy. The greeting starts with ‘HELLO”. They landed several heavily trafficked locations and it sounds like at a reasonable price for the loser. According to my sources, it’s getting some traction:

8 calls in about 30 minutes should do the trick. Wonder if Pratik is getting any texts?

I’m going to stop here because things are getting a little too strange. Overall I think the punishment is pretty good, not legendary. But definitely enough to rattle your buddy for a long time. Here’s some of the best ones I tracked down on the internet:

- Must pay for a year’s subscription to Brazzers and share login information with the league

- Take the ACT on a Saturday with high schoolers

- Our last place person had to do stand-up. We gave him a sheet of paper with the jokes you could say. But right before he went on stage, we gave him a sheet for him to use, but when he got up there he realized there was nothing on it

- Loser has to do the combine drills

- We’re from the Boston area and we’re having our loser take a bus to Cleveland Ohio and take a picture of Browns stadium. They can fly back if they want

- Make them collect signatures for a flat earth petition

- SI Body Issue photoshoot

- Go vegan for a month

- Loser wears any color but white or black socks until the next draft and only addresses members of the League by Sir/Ma’am until the next draft

- Loser gets a Nickelback CD with photograph as 7/16 tracks on it. They have to listen to it when driving their car for a week

- 24 hours in a Dennys

- League champion got to choose the phone case that the loser had to use from the championship game until week one next season

- Last place gets their nipple pierced

Some of these are classics like Stand Up and the ACT while others are barbaric. Imagine busing to Cleveland for anything much less to get a picture and come back home or collecting Flat Earth signatures. God that would suck. The worst ever tho, and this is right from my brain right here right now – make your buddy sign up for Uber/Lyft and give 100 rides with 50% of the proceeds going into the draft party. If presented with that option I’d probably just choose death.