The Pussification Of College Continues...AEPi at Emory Kicked Off Campus For Doing Edward 40-Hands In The Frat House

EMORY WHEEL – The national headquarters of Alpha Epsilon Pi (AEPi) has shut down Emory’s chapter for at least two years for violating the anti-hazing policy, according to a Tuesday University statement to the Wheel.

Emory said it agreed with the decision to remove the chapter from campus.

“Emory University fully supports the decision from the national headquarters,” the University statement said. “The safety and welfare of our students is a top priority.”

I was on a college campus recently and I remember how shocked I felt when I saw kids walking around without big plastic bubbles covering their entire bodies attached to a leash being led around by a state certified chaperone.  The quad was just one big open field without rubber walls coated in pillow cushions and – at least when I was there – there weren’t any 500 foot tall watchtowers erected on every corner staffed with lifeguards and life coaches.  I mean there weren’t even any babysitters accompanying each student to class.  It was bizarre.  I remember thinking, wow…these kids are SO screwed when they get to the real world without 4 years experience of being treated like a little tiny infant baby.

Luckily my alma mater has their shit together.  Thank God.  It’s not like I’m made out of money – if my yearly donations weren’t being put to a good cause like keeping 20 year olds under complete and total supervision in a quasi police state/Safe Space I would have to spend my valuable free time on the phone demanding a refund.

Which is why I was so pleased when I got an email the other day from the Senior Director of Development & Alumni Engagement at Emory University.

Dear Alumni,

I am writing to provide an update on the Epsilon chapter of Alpha Epsilon Pi.

Effective immediately, as voted on by the Supreme Board of Governors of Alpha Epsilon Pi, the Epsilon chapter’s official charter has been revoked. Since 2015, the Emory University Office of Sorority and Fraternity Life has worked continuously with AEPI’s chapter leadership, alumni advisors, and national headquarters to shift the culture of introducing new members into the chapter. Despite our collective efforts, the Epsilon chapter, unfortunately, continues to hold onto unsafe practices in this regard.

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The most recent incident occurred on Tuesday, Feb. 12, 2019, where more than forty men were found engaging in behaviors that appeared to egregiously violate our alcohol and anti-hazing policies.

The National headquarters of Alpha Epsilon Pi and Emory University investigated the incident. As a result of the investigation, the headquarters has determined it will close the Epsilon chapter on March 5, 2019. The earliest opportunity for AEPi to return to campus for official or unofficial activities is 2021.

Thank you.

I had a feeling this was coming – when I graduated a decade ago, things were already taking a dangerous turn for the worse.  There was marijuana drug smoking, unsupervised visits between consenting males and females WELL after bed time, hours of library time spent chatting or surfing the internet instead of on schoolwork.

And the fraternities were the worst offenders – always “having fun” and “socializing” and “making lifelong friendships and connections” when they should have been studying or reading the university rule book from cover to cover over and over again until it was memorized.  It was only a matter of time before one of these frats took it too far, and my hunch was it would be mine – we were always the worst offenders when it came to “enjoying the best 4 years of our lives before the real world.”

But after speaking to some brothers currently in the fraternity, it turns out the truth was worse than any of the violations I listed above.  MUCH worse:

They were PLAYING A DRINKING GAME.

…Around a month ago, AEPi headquarters force initiated our pledges to ensure that they would be counted as “new brothers” in case any allegations arise. About a week after this, the new brothers, along with existing brothers, were playing a drinking game in our basement, Edward 40 Hands, a classic. There was a crowd of brothers surrounding them cheering them on. Prior to the start of this game, I mean like seconds before we started, a walkthrough from the school entered the house through the front door and we all scrambled.

Once they left, we began the game for real. About three minutes into the game, around the same time some people had already finished but others were still drinking, the walkthrough returned and immediately called the Office of Sorority and Fraternity Life.

Everyone present was forced to give them their name and student ID before leaving.

The chapter was placed on cease and desist following this by Nationals, and on temporary suspension by the school. At Emory, for some god for known reason, drinking games are not allowed. This included pong, dice, and yes, Edward 40 hands. Brothers were called in and interviewed by the school regarding the event.

Just yesterday, Nationals and the school met with our chapter to tell us that we are being removed from campus as Nationals has revoked our charter and the school will be kicking us out of the house on March 19 th , 2019. This is in two weeks and spring break is next week.

Drinking bottles of beer…in your house.

Full disclosure, AEPi was already under the microscope when this happened…

Because in January, the fraternity president called EMS for his friend who drank too much and was in bad shape, and was promptly searched by the campus cops who showed up and arrested for a single small baggie of coke in his pocket.  Oh and his buddy was also arrested for “public drunkenness” (without being given a breathalyzer or sobriety test), so both of them spent three days* (yes 3 full days) in a Dekalb County holding cell.

(*Not a surprise at all for anyone familiar with the Dekalb County police and their interesting takes on police work and public safety.)

It took a month and a half for Emory to realize the purpose of “amnesty” is so kids don’t let their friends die from alcohol poisoning because they’re scared of being arrested and spending 3 days in jail and having their futures ruined for having a buzz on a Friday night – they dropped the official sanctions against the chapter, but the two dudes still have their court dates coming up for the criminal charges.  I’m sure the students at Emory (frat or no frat) will be super eager to call for help the next time someone is in a bad spot after that.

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Call me old school but I’ve always been of the opinion that college should be a time where you could have fun, experiment with stuff, be exposed to different ideas and opinions that you might not agree with, learn about yourself while you live on your own for the first time, and, yes, be dumb and make mistakes.

Even if you hate fraternities and consider them just ways of “paying for friends” (which I know is a popular opinion around here), everyone knows this is not just a frat issue.  Colleges have become $60,000-a-year safe space echo chamber day care centers whether you’re a part of Greek life or not.  There are frats out there in the news lately with dumbass kids who do horrible things and think that hazing means brutally tormenting and physically endangering people just so they have an excuse to be bullies.  I fist pump when those losers are kicked off campus.

I guess I just don’t think taping beer bottles to your hands to get drunk in your house with your friends is the same thing.  But maybe I’m the dumbass.