Playboy Playmate Gets Pinched For Murdering Her Psychiatrist And Leaving The Body In The Nevada Desert
The Daily Mail:
A Playboy model living in Las Vegas has been arrested and charged in connection with the murder of a 71-year-old psychiatrist who was found bludgeoned to death in the trunk of a car earlier this month.
Kelsey Turner was taken into custody by police in Stockton, California, as part of their investigation into the death of Dr. Thomas Burchard – whose body was found in Nevada, March 7.
Turner’s name matched that of a woman who posed for racy photos, including some on Playboy’s Italian-language website, the Californian of Salinas reported.
Burchard’s body was discovered near the entrance to the Lake Mead National Recreational Area after a passerby noticed a rock had been thrown through one of the vehicle’s windows, police said.
An autopsy ruled Burchard died from a blunt force injury to the head – his death was ruled a homicide.
I think I have to prequalify this blog by saying death is never funny, especially homicide, but then I can also skate by by reminding everyone that this is a satire website and the headline “Playboy Playmate Murders Psychiatrist And Leaves His Body In The Nevada Desert” is objectively funny? Pretty sure that’s how it works, so let’s roll.
This stinks. Stinks to high heavens. You think this girl can lift anything heavy/dense enough to smash it through someone’s skull?
Especially as skull as thick as this guy’s?
Absolutely not. I’m guessing there was probably a little “quid pro quo” going on and the second she slid her spaghetti strap down her arm he probably went by way of Joseph “Blue” Pulaski
You’re my boy, Blue!!!
After he croaked, she probably choked and freaked out a bit. Didn’t want to get in trouble for something she didn’t do. Decided to call in a Spilotro brother, stuff him in a car, and leave his body in the desert. Didn’t even think to roll him up in a throw rug first. Fucking idiot. That’s murdering people and leaving their bodies in the desert day 1 stuff. Not to mention I guarantee you she didn’t pull up the carpet in his office and check to see if blood had soaked through to the floorboards either. Haven’t you ever seen CSI you fucking ditz?
So really, she has nobody else to blame but herself for getting pinched for this crime if you really think about it.
PS buy a Bridgeport Bombers shirt