If You Suck At Being Horny, There's A New "Slutbot" App That You Can Practice Sexting With
NYP – For a good time text (415) 650-0395.
A new “SMS experience” — co-created by erotic writers and sex educators — allows users to text a number and receive lessons in sexting from the “Slutbot.”
This carnal chatbot, launched Tuesday, is the bawdy brainchild of the digital gurus behind Juicebox, a relationship app which offers advice on sex and love. While the app offers daily coaching for $29 a week or $99 a month, Slutbot is free for all by texting the above number…
…In building her automated sext coach, Rader emphasized consent and good “sextiquette” — while still having fun with language and not shying away from talk about bondage and other kinks. “We even talked to a linguist to help us code all of the appropriate words,” she says. “There are so many different ways you can say ‘yes.’ ”
Slutbot offers six different “flows” depending on a user’s gender, relationship status and sexuality, with options for gay and non-binary texters. Users can also choose between “Slow & Sensual” or “Hot & Heavy” settings.
Fellas,,,,, we all know how difficult it can be to be horny sometimes. You’re feeling a little frisky. You’re feeling a little risky. Next thing you know, you fire off a few texts and they absolutely SUCK. So the girl then forwards the screenshots of those texts to all of her friends and they’re all laughing it up. All of a sudden, you see that conversation start to get posted on every meme account on Instagram. It’s awful. All because you got a little to horny and you suck at sexting.
Lucky for all of you, there’s a new service in town which will allow you to really hone in your craft of sexting. It’s like they say–practice makes perfect. So for all you shitty sexters out there, you can practice your techniques with Slutbot (personally I’m against slut shaming but it’s their words, not mine).
Do you have a fire line you’re looking to break out on a lucky lady but you’re still not sure what kind of reaction its going to receive? Slutbot. Do you have some weird new stream of consciousness storytelling technique you want to break out but you’re not sure how it reads on the other side? Slutbot. Want to start developing some more characters but need to test out if they really fit and add to the story? Slutbot. It’s basically where all your sexting rough drafts need to go. Because you never want a rough draft to be that text you send at 2 in the morning. You want that New York Times Best Seller final copy.
Now I will say the thing that I’m most interested here is whoever is monitoring this shit on the backend. This reminds me of SmarterChild on AIM. If you’re too young to remember SmarterChild, I feel so very sorry for you. But for everybody who was fortunate enough to grow up with AIM, you remember sending some of the most ruthless shit your little brain could ever come up with that that “automated” account. You were 10-years-old just stringing together every curse word you’ve ever heard and trying to form a sentence out of it. There were no laws when it came to instant messaging with SmarterChild. And I feel like Slutbot will basically just become the adult version of that. Which is terrifying. Because you know that those conversations don’t just disappear because you’re talking to a “robot”. They’re all being stored somewhere in the cloud and somebody has access to them. Somebody probably has to monitor them in some capacity. So I can’t even begin to imagine the type of shit they are going to see on a daily basis. I really hope this all ends up just being some sort of con and that they just save up as many conversations as they need in order to release a full book of them.
P.S. – I’m trying to figure out if I’d feel more sorry for the “slow & sensual” users or the “hot & heavy” users. Because I feel like with slow & sensual, you’re basically developing a full blown relationship with this robot. Which is a big yikes. But hot & heavy means you’re just so damn horny with no real outlet that you need to bang a robot that very moment. I don’t know. Kind of a toss up here.