You're All Idiots If You Don’t Realize How Smart The Tampa Bay Lightning Are
So the Tampa Bay Lightning–a team coming off of one of the greatest regular seasons in the history of the NHL–are down 2-0 in the 1st round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Whoopdie-fucking-doo.
I honestly can’t believe what I’m seeing out there right now. So many people are saying that the Bolts are broken. So many people are saying that the wheels have fallen off the wagon. So many people are absolute moronic human beings. Because if you don’t think that the Tampa Bay Lightning have the Blue Jackets precisely where they want them, well then there is truly no hope for you.
You see, folks, history has a knack of repeating itself. And with that being the case, the Tampa Bay Lightning are actually just elite historians. They’ve done their research and they remembered that the Washington Capitals also lost their first 2 playoff games at home to the Blue Jackets in the 1st round of last year’s Stanley Cup Playoffs. What did the 2017-18 Washington Capitals go on to do? Oh, I don’t know, they just fucked around and won the Stanley Cup.
Since the 2017-18 NHL season, every single team who has ever gone down 2-0 to the Columbus Blue Jackets in the 1st round of the playoffs has ended up winning the Cup that year. It’s a scientifically proven fact. I’m not out here just spouting off hot takes like some uninformed jackass. I’m simply putting the facts out there and the facts say that the Tampa Bay Lightning will be your 2018-19 Stanley Cup Champions. And it’s all because they were smart enough and ballsy enough to go down 2-0 to CBJ in the 1st round. But sure, keep telling yourself that they are broken. I’m sure that stance will end up looking great come June.