Brook Lopez Doesn't Want The Playoffs To End Because He's A Loser With No Friends Or Social Life
The Brooklyn Game – In his first playoff series ever, Brook Lopez has not disappointed: through five games, he’s averaged 23.6 points, 8.0 rebounds, and 3.4 blocks, shooting 49.4% from the field with a PER of 27.4, fifth among players in the playoffs (trailing Stephen Curry, Kevin Durant, Tony Parker, and LeBron James). He finished Game 5’s victory with 28 points and 10 rebounds, adding two assists. The Nets‘ defense in the paint is significantly better with him on the court. He’s one of few players that has turned his game up in the playoffs in a big way. So what motivates him? Is it the desire to be the best basketball player to ever live? The competitive drive to rip his opponent’s throat out? The inner fire he channels to pour on the points and lead his team to victory? According to Lopez: “I don’t really have a social life. I like hanging out with my guys here. So I really didn’t want the season to end.”
You know this is absolutely true. You know Brook Lopez does nothing but hang out with his loser brother Robin in the offseason. Like the McPoyle twins or something. Ride their tandem bike to the park and jump on the see-saw together. Playing air hockey in their parents’ basement before going to the zoo or the movies something. Double date with Jason and Jarron Collins. Just a couple of fucking goofy giraffes dancing together like the beginning of the Wayans Brothers Show. “We brothers! We’re happy and we’re singing and we’re colored! Gimme a high five!”
Credit where credit is due though – Brook Lopez has been bringing the fucking noise in the playoffs. If Hinrich is out the rest of the series and the Nets can force a game 7 back in Brooklyn, I think Brook will be taking his talents to South Beach for the second round.
PS – Unrelated side note – the beat that drops after the Wayans Brothers intro was fire