The Easter Bunny Brought The Goddamn Ruckus During A Fight On Easter Sunday

Let this be a lesson to all the idiots out there thinking about starting a donnybrook on the day Jesus rose from the dead. Do NOT do it around the Easter Bunny. That sorry son of a bitch has had too many brats screaming on his lap for weeks because it turns out giant monster bunnies are scary to kids, grinds way too hard by not only delivering gifts but also hiding eggs, and gets 1/10th the admiration as that big round bitch St. Nick for doing twice the work to have his holiday ruined by some drunk mamalukes. If you disrespect the day He is risen with violence, Easter’s silent guardian will crack your head like a Cadbury Egg.

I would mention how crazy it must be to turn around and realize you have been sneak attacked by the Easter Bunny. But considering this took place in Florida, getting ambushed by a giant magical bunny, on Easter NO LESS, was nowhere close to the craziest outcome. In fact, not only could that Easter Bunny scrap, but he had better boxing form that about 90% of the people at Rough N Rowdy this weekend (which can still be purchase at buyrnr.com/giveclemaraise). Lead with the left jab, conquer with the right hook, unleash fists of fury once your opponents is vulnerable, then shadowbox on his grave like Muhammad Ali in his motherfucking prime. I don’t know which states’ boxing commissions would allow people to box in mascot outfits, but I need to see this supernatural slinger of the sweet science battling at the next RnR in full costume.