Reader Email – This Email About Free Donuts Made Me Feel Really Bad For "Staples Kyle"

Reader Email 

SUBJECT LINE – DONUTS!

Good Morning Dave,

Please allow me to come by to bring you and your employees some FREE Donuts! More importantly, I would like to take 10-15 minutes to discuss how we could save you time and money by offering business pricing as well as other exciting perks!

Let me know if next Tuesday, Thursday or Friday works best.

Lastly, if you are not the right contact, please direct me to the appropriate person.

Thank you and look forward to meeting you!

Kyle XXXX
Business Development Manager
Staples Business Advantage

Oh boy! Free Fucking Donuts From Staples Kyle! WhopteeFuckteeDoo!

Listen I don’t mean to make fun of Staples Kyle. I really don’t. I just feel bad for this poor son of a bitch. I’m sure this guy fucking HATES his job. Fucking hates it like poison. Probably wants to put a bullet in his head every Sunday Night. I mean this is his life.  Wearing his red Staples polo shirt and bribing people to talk with him for 10 minutes with the promise of free chocolate glazed doughnuts.

So why did I post this? Well it wasn’t to make fun of Staples Kyle and his pathetic life. Nope it was to remind all the clowns who work at Barstool how lucky they are that they aren’t Staples Kyle. How lucky they are to work at a job they don’t hate.  Because make no mistake about it this is cube life.   So next time anybody wants to bitch and moan to me just remember 99% of the American workforce is Staples Kyle. Just a poor slob making it seem like free donuts is the greatest thing to happen in the history of human civilization.   DONUTS!