"Sometimes You've Got To Eat A Poop Sandwich" - Justin Williams, Apparently A Poop Connoisseur
The Carolina Hurricanes have found themselves down 2-0 in the Eastern Conference Finals. And neither of those games have been particularly close. In fact, it’s been back-to-back dick kickings as Boston won game 1 by a score of 5-2 and then followed that up with a 6-2 win yesterday in game 2. So how are the Carolina Hurricanes going to get this thing back on track? How are they going to keep their Stanley Cup dreams alive?
Carolina Hurricanes captain Justin Williams thinks that it all comes down to the team’s diet. And right now, a giant shit sandwich is on the menu.
Listen, folks. The Stanley Cup is the greatest trophy in all of sports. It’s also one of the hardest to get your hands on. There are so many hockey players in the world who have never once got to lift that Cup over their head. Justin Williams has been fortunate enough to do it 3 times before in his career, and he’s done it before in Carolina. So if he thinks that chomping down on a poop sandwich is what it takes, then order up a round of turds for the boys and let’s get to grubbin’.
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Now obviously beggars can’t be choosers in this sort of situation. I can’t imagine this is like Chipotle where you can just go down the line and order exactly what you’d like on your shit sandwich. But if I had to concoct my preferred poop sandwich, I think I’d start it off on the grill. Get a nice sear on that turd, really get a nice little crust forming. I’d probably serve it on a brioche bun, maybe even have the bun lightly toasted. At the very least, I think I’d add some coleslaw to the sandwich. I think the acidity of that slaw will really punch through and balance out some of those flavors. Now in terms of sauce/condiments, I probably wouldn’t go too crazy. With that being said, I’m definitely a sucker for anything that has any sort of aioli on it. So maybe I’d introduce a little heat to the flavor profile and whip up a little sriracha aioli.
And there you have it. A grilled turd on a lightly toasted brioche bun with some tangy slaw and sriracha aioli. Bon appetit. Should be a guaranteed victory for games 3 and 4.