The Movement To Kick Chicago Out Of Illinois Has Quadrupled In Three Months

(Pew Research)–To be sure, creating a new state is a significant undertaking and unlikely to succeed, political scientists say. But long odds haven’t extinguished momentum for these quixotic movements.

In Illinois, a resolution calling on Congress to declare Chicago the 51st state has eight Republican cosponsors in the state House 

I wrote about this story back in February, and since then the number of morons in the Illinois State Legislature has quadrupled. Well, technically, it might be stagnant. To be fair, there are a lot of morons in the world. On this particular issue it’s gone from 2 morons to 8. It also has 26 counties supporting this measure to kick Chicago out of Illinois and make it the 51st State in the Union.

The Chief moron above cites the following as his reasons for wanting to boot Chicago

Illinois state Rep. Brad Halbrook, the bill’s author, cites the many issues tearing the state apart. He listed Democrats’ “overreaching” stances on abortion, guns, immigration, debt, pensions, Medicaid spending, property taxes, green energy and workers’ compensation as just some of the reasons Chicago and Illinois should go their separate ways.

“Everywhere I go, people say we just need to get rid of Chicago,” he told Stateline. “It gets rid of all of our problems. My constituency is serious about it. I’m trying to save the state.”

Basically, “All those got damn city slickers in Cook County think different than us so fuck them”. Which, I gotta say, seems to be the prevailing thought on both sides of the political spectrum these days so Halbrook isn’t alone. The part where he is trying to “save the state” well…math ain’t his friend. According to the Pew Research group Southern Illinois received $2.81 for every dollar it’s citizens pay in taxes while Cook County residents only get 90cents on the dollar. That should be enough for anyone try to save the State by splitting it in two to go the granpa simpson route

But then again, math was created by muslims so who knows how this will turn out

I am not a legal expert on these matters, or any matters, but I feel like if a bunch of people from downstate said “hey, there’s another State now, we just decided” the Federal government would just be like “yeah? No”. And that would be that. Which is why I think I want to be an elected official. It seems like the easiest job in the entire world. This guy has been banging the drum, getting people fired up, and blaming all of the problems on Chicago knowing full well that even if he gets the votes he needs it would be impossible to enact. It’s the ultimate mail time job. Say things that don’t matter, raise money, get voted it, have a fake job where you don’t really do anything or have any real responsibilities. It’s a cake walk. Sign me up. When Chicago is kicked out I am definitely running for the new State senate.