If You're Not Wearing The Denim Speedo This Summer, Have Fun Not Getting Laid
Shinesty – They say jorts are the above-ground pool of the shorts world. We’d be inclined to agree. Our denim print swim brief, also known as the Jeado, also known as the Daytona Dong Sarong is just like that, except it is the above-ground hot tub of the swim brief world…or something like that. It is like eating a bag of chips in church.
FINALLY! I’ve been waiting all my life for a speedo for DUDES. Typically there are only two types of people on this planet who rock a speedo un-ironically. Those people are either swimmers–who are always super weird–or they are Europeans, who are equally as bizarre. Never before has there been a speedo available for just a regular ass American dude to strut around the beach in. That is, of course, until now.
I’ve just been sick and tired of having to walk around with some pasty ass thighs. You work all summer trying to get that perfect tan going but from right above the knee to your waist has never seen the sun a day in its life. But now? Now that we can get out there in a pair of Dong Sarongs and blast those thighs out there for the whole world to see? Well tan lines will essentially be a thing of the past. Plus you’ll look super bad ass out there rocking a denim speedo. It shows people that not only do you care about getting some extra sun on those legs, but you also mean business.
So yeah. Have fun never getting laid this summer unless you plan on rocking a pair of these bad boys. Gonna be an extra lonely summer for all of you bozos still keeping those thighs extra pasty. Couldn’t be me.
h/t Whiskey Riff