BREAKING: ESPN Is No Longer 'The Worldwide Leader in Sports'

(This probably isn’t breaking news, but this is the first I’ve noticed and no one has written about it)

Well folks, ESPN is no longer the Worldwide Leader in Sports. That’s that. The end of an era. What a shame. That crown can be claimed by anyone. Now their slogan is “Serving fans. Anytime. Anywhere.” It sounds like they’re an IHOP or some breakfast chain. The Worldwide Leader in Sports was one of the really cool, tip of the cap things ESPN had. That’s just a really cool slogan. It’s probably the number 1 slogan of any company. That’s now gone. They decided it wasn’t working anymore I guess.

The only thing left is for Barstool Sports to take the crown. I think we have to make our slogan The Worldwide Leader in Sports. We have to right?