NFL Owners Predict Mr. Kraft Won't Get Suspended

MMQB – Patriots owner Robert Kraft, on a surface level, is far from his usual self at the NFL’s spring meeting. …

But contrary to what we all saw at the annual meeting two months ago, Kraft wasn’t hiding this week in South Florida. He was present at a reception on the hotel deck Tuesday night. He walked freely past cameras on his way into Wednesday sessions. His interaction with his peers was normal.

That isn’t the only thing to have changed since March’s league meetings—attitudes surrounding Kraft’s situations have shifted too. … And the sense among those at the league meeting is that if Kraft wins in a court, there’s a decent chance he’ll also escape league discipline.

Asked if he thinks Kraft will be sanctioned late Wednesday, one NFC team exec answered, “No, nor should he be.” An owner from another NFC team, when asked the same question, said, “I’d be pretty surprised if he was.”

Well if true, this proves one thing at least. Roger Goodell is a tyrant and a power mad clown and he was sent here from the demon dimension to remove all happiness from the world, but at least he possesses an instinct for self preservation.

He might be able to wield the Dark Side of the Force over players thanks to Article 46 that says he can suspend them and destroy their reputations over nothing. And God knows he’s not the least bit shy about abusing it to make himself look like a tough guy. But the owners are a different story altogether. His petty little power trip, that Fuhrerprinzip he beats the players down with in order to give himself erections, doesn’t apply to the people he works for.

It was one thing when he was currying favor with 31 of his bosses by taking Patriots draft picks away over Deflategate. They all clapped like aquarium seals when he tossed them that fish carcass. But that Billionaire Degenerate’s Club draws the line at a member getting slapped over a little casual handjobbery. Not when they’ve got guys like Jerry Jones running a party bus filled with strippers and taking Goodell’s Head of Officiating onboard for a little sightseeing tour. Not when Dan Snyder has a private battleship with a bigger carbon footprint than Canada. And not when Jim Irsay has a dead mistress in a condo his team paid for and is driving around with an entire Walgreens running through his veins. The last thing those guys want is one of their own getting punished because he got the one part of him massaged that the Jupiter Police Department says he can’t.

So, again if true, this is the case, it’s yet another huge win for Mr. Kraft. And further validation of his decision to pull up his pants, stand his ground, and fight. Not just for his own personal justice, but for the justice of all. And it will spare Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth from having to explain to America why the Super Bowl LIII is dropping but the owner’s box at Gillette is empty. Most important of all, it’ll give the crowd the chance to give him the greatest reception an owner has ever gotten. A round of applause so thunderous, every crooked cop and corrupt prosecutor will feel it in their penises. This story just keeps getting better.