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I Officially Challenge The Devils To A Rough N' Rowdy Fight After They Signed Wayne Simmonds

New Jersey Devils v Philadelphia Flyers

What in the shit is this all about?

I’m sorry but no. I know that this is Fourth of July week and everything. I know that we should be celebrating freedom and the pursuit of happiness. But this move right here…well this move just shouldn’t be allowed.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m glad that Wayne Simmonds is getting paid. I can’t imagine he has too much gas left in the tank and he was on one of the most team-friendly contracts for the past few years. Wayne Simmonds has earned every single penny of this $5M contract. It’s a shame he wasn’t on a shorter term contract in the first place because he probably could have earned every single penny of a $6-7M contract a couple of seasons ago.

But the fact that Wayne Simmonds now has to return to the Metro to make this happen? And with the Devils? Fuck outta here with that, Ray Shero. I’m ready to challenge every single member of the Devils’ management to a Rough n’ Rowdy fight after this deplorable move. It’s just not right to make the Flyers now have to battle against Wayne Simmonds 4 times next season, including the Flyers’ home opener. It’s just not right at all. And how are we supposed to root against Wayne Simmonds? The Devils were so easy to hate up until this afternoon. They lucked out with the 1st overall pick in Jack Hughes. They managed to pull off a robbery in that PK Subban trade. It was going to be so much fun to despise this team and really get that hatred going all season long. But now that Simmonds is on the roster? I don’t even know how I feel anymore.

The worst part of all is that this pretty much guarantees that the Devils will win the Cup in 2020. You add a former Flyer to your roster, you win a Stanley Cup. It’s scientifically proven at this point. So I guess hockey was fun while it lasted, but I don’t think I can watch this shit anymore.

@BarstoolJordie