I Would Give My Left Nut To Play Ball And Party With This Year's Phillies Phantasy Camp Roster
So we got a Stoolie mole who is going to be in Clearwater all winter and will be sending us whatever he can. Here is his first assignment: Phillies Phantasy Camp.
Take my testicle. I don’t care. Not like I need it, anyways. John Kruk and I can be in the same sackless club and pound cases together. I NEED to get down to Phillies Phantasy Camp before the diabetes kicks in and we lose a limb or 4. This year’s lineup would have been perfect. Booze it out with LA. Shoot the shit with Dutch. Rip my shirt off with Danny Jackson. Be apathetic with Lieby. Play the silent game with Eisey. Try to remember anything about Ricky Jordan before confusing him with Wes Chamberlain. Ask how Rheal Cormeir got invited. Seriously so much to do, so little time. And I would LOVE to pitch against Dave Hollins and brush him back off the plate. That meatstick statue never budged an inch. Not to mention I think I would hang tough as we already mashed it out at the Andrew Farrell Home Run Derby this year. LET SMITTY PLAY:
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Also, I think we’ve got an MVP, nay, first ballet Phantasy Camp HOF’er swinging for the fences already. The mole said she brought her own stick, possibly carved from a tree branch that was struck by lightening. By the looks of it she probably has better knees than Utley and if that brace holds up the Phils should give her a look at 1st. I’m just kidding. I think.