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Finally! Science Nerds Invent A Fabric That Starts To Smell Better The More You Sweat

sweaty-mac

Cnet – It isn’t a sure-fire way to make your sweaty gym clothes smell like roses, but a new fabric might be able to give off a pleasant lemony aroma at the very least.

Processes already exist to embed fabric with scents like those from aromatherapy essential oils, but now researchers have combined the idea with concepts taken from advanced smart fabrics.

A team of engineers from the University of Minho in Portugal have developed two ways to modify cotton fabric so that it lets off a citronella aroma when it comes in contact with sweat. Their methods for using sweat against itself are outlined in the journal ACS Applied Materials and Interfaces…As a bonus, citronella is also a popular insect repellent. Keeping both the mosquitoes and bad body odor away could soon be as simple as reeling off 50 quick jumping jacks.

Well it’s about goddamn time. Seriously. I feel like I never know what scientists are up to. For the most part, I feel like “scientist” is just a made up job. They all pretend like they’re doing shit, wear a fancy little white lab coat to at least look the part, and then do we ever hear from them after that? Not often. There are so many “scientists” in the world yet we barely get anything good out of them. All we get is them complaining about some shit we already know about like climate change or something like that.

But finally these science nerds have come out to do some actually productive work that will benefit humanity on a whole–a fabric that doesn’t end up stinking like shit when you completely sweat through it.

Now I have no problem with admitting that I’m a pretty sweaty guy myself. I could come back from running 3 miles and it would look like I just got done swimming a full marathon. Humble brag that I can run 3 miles, I know. But that’s not the point here. What I’m trying to say is that I’m a profuse sweater, but I’m also not a total gross person either. I like to practice proper hygiene. I shower every day. I brush my teeth twice every day. I always make sure I’m wearing deodorant. But when I start to sweat, I feel like I get categorized in with all the gross people in the world even though I actively try to separate myself from them. So this fabric that starts to smell better the more you sweat? It’s just nice that there’s an invention out there made specifically for guys like me.

Because there are still going to be those slobs who sweat gallons at a time but also don’t practice proper hygiene. Those people literally stink so bad that not even citronella fabric can cover up their scent. But for me? I may look like I just got caught in a category 5 hurricane, but at least I’ll be smelling fresh. Or as fresh as a citronella scent can get. That’s another thing–I wasn’t exactly thrilled that these scientists decided to use citronella as the aroma that comes off when the fabric comes in contact with sweat. I would have much preferred something like an Old Spice Aqua Reef. But then when they mentioned that citronella also means that you’re not going to get eaten alive by bugs, I realized this is a perfect summer shirt. So thanks, science bitches. You finally did something worthwhile.

@BarstoolJordie