Does This Look Like the Face of the Greatest "Survivor" Contestant Ever?
Over 13 years and 26 seasons, “Survivor” has been won by scheming geniuses like Richard Hatch, manipulative streetwise Massholes like Boston Rob, and an assortment of good athletes, brilliant strategists and non-threatening motherly types who charmed their way to the title. But there’s never been one who played the game any better than last night’s champ, Cochran. It could just be that I’m partial to glasses-wearing bookish guys who sunburn easily, I don’t know. But you can’t overstate what an upset it was that this socially awkward geek won a game that’s set up to eat guys like him alive. And he not only won, he dominated. The final vote was the biggest fait accompli in the history of reality TV because Cochran set it up that way. He got rid of every threat, cut throats left and right, lied to people’s faces, said things behind their backs so he’d go into the Final 3 with the two of the most unlikable skanks ever to hit the island: The useless Sherri and Dawn, the emotionally unstable phony. And when he wasn’t orchestrating the entire game, he was winning an incredible four Immunity Challenges, an unheard of feat for a phenomenal athlete, but impossible for a guy who looks like he spent his teenage years playing Magic: The Gathering and learning to speak Klingon. He was the 2011 Bruins, getting hot at exactly the right time so when it came down to the final vote, he won unanimously. Just pure, dominating brilliance. The only way he could’ve done better would’ve been for Brenda Lowe to show us her baby belly (not cool by her, by the way) and said Cochran is the father. But failing that, he was still incredible. It’s a great day for lovable, slightly nerdy, pasty white guys everywhere. @JerryThornton1
Editors Note – I just can’t let this blog go by without saying what I always say when we talk who is the greatest Surivivor player of all time. The answer is Sandra plain and simple. She was on 2 seasons and won them both. You can’t argue with that. You just can’t.