Dr. J Says The Only Reason He Had A Daughter Is Because The Girl Who Used To Blow Him Got Braces So He Had Have Sex With Her
Page Six – Julius Erving wouldn’t have fathered tennis player Alexandra Stevenson, 32, if her mother hadn’t gotten braces on her teeth, the Hall of Fame basketball player writes in his new autobiography, “Dr. J.” The hotly anticipated book is supposed to be under lock and key until its official publication on Tuesday, but I found an early copy at a downtown bookstore. Erving tells how he met Samantha Stevenson — whom he describes on the page as “a smart single woman — a pretty white girl, a bit of a hippie giving off a vibe of availability” — in 1978 when she was covering the Philadelphia 76ers for Sport magazine. “She becomes someone who helps me unwind if I’m feeling high-strung or stressed. I can drive over and spend a relaxing evening that might even include oral sex,” Erving writes. “I can only remember one time that we actually had intercourse, and that was because she had just gotten this new orthodontia to straighten her teeth. With wire and gleaming metal bristling in her mouth, oral sex was not an option.” But Erving, known for his Dante de Blasio-like Afro and his thunderous dunks, felt terrible in 1999 when his and Samantha’s out-of-wedlock daughter — playing in the semifinals at Wimbledon — was caught in a media firestorm over her famous father. “I’ve paid a terrible price for my sins and there is some justice in that. But should Alexandra have had to pay a price? What sin did she commit?”
The best kind of ability is availability! Unless of course you’re not available to suck my dick because you’ve got brand new braces. In that case, this is probably gonna end in disaster you white hippie slut!
I never understood the idea that braces are gonna fuck up a blow job. Unless that chick is doing it horribly wrong, brackets and wires on the front of your teeth really shouldn’t be a problem. Nothing regarding your teeth should ever effect a blow task. If thats the case, that blow job is gonna suck no matter fucking what.
You know whos gotta feel pretty awesome about herself today? Dr. J’s daughter. Her Mom was nothing more than a mouth with crooked teeth and her Dad just needed to release some stress and thats the only reason she exists in this world at all. Orthodontia is the only reason you’re a mistake personified. I mean, hey, if you gotta be a mistake, its best to be Dr. J’s mistake right? Things could be worse.
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