Everything You Need To Know About The New Warriors
Kevin Durant, Andre Iguodala, and Shaun Livingston all are gone. Andrew Bogut? Long gone. Boogie Cousins? Was barely there, gone nevertheless. Steph Curry broke his hand and is out three months minimum. Klay Thompson tore his ACL, out for the season. I think they may have told D’Angelo to leave. Draymond Green hurt his finger feverishly dialing his phone in order to recruit other superstars to come play for the Warriors. So tonight,,, this is Golden State’s starting lineup:
A regular who’s who of… who???
Luckily for everybody, I have done extensive research on these fine gentleman and am here to fill you in on some interesting tidbits of each and every one of these players so you can sound smart while discussing these guys at the pub later this evening. No need to thank me but you’re welcome.
Ky Bowman
He went to Boston College, which is a terrible sign right off the bat. There are hundreds of places that have basketball teams and this is where you choose??? How did this guy even make the League as a point guard when his decision making has proven to be questionable at best. Bad, bad start for Golden State.
Jordan Poole
0-for-2
Glenn Robinson
Alright finally some good news for the Warriors. Glenn “Big Dog” Robinson! Holy shit I had no idea he was still in the League. That guy has been playing since I was nothing more than a small boy! Modern medicine truly is something to have this guy still getting minutes in the Association. Truly an inspiration to us all that if you work hard and keep your body in shape you can play for as long as you’d like.
Eric Paschall
He went to Fordham. Literally, Fordham. What the hell is going on with the Warriors man?
Willie Cauley-Stein
Up until the 49ers traded for Emmanuel Sanders, WCS was largely considered the best wide receiver in the Bay Area. Now? Second best. Which is still pretty impressive considering that’s not the sport at all we’re talking about here.
Final Prediction: Hornets 175 – Warriors 16.