Was Last Night The Beginning Of A Black Cat Uprising?
Hand up, last night in the heat of the battle, I thought that black cat was sent onto that field by the Football Gods to ensure Giants fans were embarrassed once again by their team as they played the only game on TV in front of the entire world. Once that cat hit the field, everything fell apart for the Giants, and they were once again punchlines for everyone with a social media account.
However after seeing this video, I finally realized that the result of some silly NFL game is the least of our concerns. That black cat was clearly put in charge of signaling the mobilization of black cats to take over the world. Think about it for a second. What better time would black cats rise against humans than right after Halloween? Everyone has eaten their candy, normal people are focused on Thanksgiving, and the especially crazy people have already moved on mentally to Christmas.
If you could pick one kind of animal that would try to fuck up the entire balance of power in the animal kingdom with a rogue uprising, wouldn't it be cats? I guess you can make a case for snakes as well. But from the hissing to the wiry body to the overall demeanor of being untrustworthy, cats are pretty much just four-legged snakes with claws that are covered in fur. Which is why those creepy little fuckers all gathering around a TV at that exact moment is more than just a coincidence. I know it takes a special type of person (*cough, witch, cough*) to own at least three black cats. But I wouldn't be surprised if more videos of black cats heading toward the TV during a game between two of the biggest teams in America playing the biggest sport during a primetime game with no real competition. If you aren't getting ready for the black cat uprising, you are already pretty much dead.
P.S. I said it before and I'll say it again. Fuck that black cat.