You Know Things Are Rough For A Division I Hoops Program When It Has To Suit Up A Swimmer And Baseball Player Because They Don't Have Enough Players

There's only one solution here. Bring in myself and the Barstool Chicago boys to make 5 and have a practice roster. I mean the entire UIC athletics department are Barstool fans, so there's the in. Step 2 would be have Dee Brown (yes, Illinois legend Dee Brown) coach us or find a way to get him in for the year. Brown is an assistant at UIC so that makes sense too. 

I love this. Any person that played AAU knows this type of life. You play a team in the round robin portion of the tournament. It's a close game, you compete and the other team looks one way. Then comes single-elimination time and all of a sudden three high major DI commits show up. Just at UIC it's a downgrade bringing in a baseball player and swimmer. 

I'd suit up for UIC just for the gear and this beauty of the court: 

Clearly I'll run point, Eddie is going to be big man to set screens. There's no doubt he's an awesome screener and can dive to the rim. Carl is going to be my wing that attacks the rim off the bounce. Chief is going to be stretch big (he's taller than you'd expect). Whitesoxdave is my corner shooter that I can blame if his guy leaves him to help. Let's make it happen, Flames.