Naughty America Allowing You To Cash In Unwanted Holiday Gift Cards For Internet Porn Subscription

Huff Po – Naughty America is offering access to its dozens of online porn sites in exchange for your unused gift cards. That means you can turn in that Barnes & Noble gift card — come on, you weren’t going to use it anyway — and get “more than 5,000 porn videos and 2,000 porn stars, including popular models such as Lisa Ann, Nikki Benz, Julia Ann, Phoenix Marie, Tasha Reign, Brandi Love and Emma Starr,” according to Naughty America founder Andreas Hronopoulos. Plus, the list of gift cards on the safe-for-work exchange site is long and distinguished. Best Buy, Adidas, Cabela’s, Petco and Walmart are just a few of the dozens of businesses you can snub for the spank bank. iTunes isn’t one of them. It’s all anonymous, so you don’t have to tell Grandma that you spent your Starbucks on a different kind of pick-me-up. “Nothing says America like the freedom of choice,” Hronopoulos said. “This is a great deal for the holidays. Instead of using a gift card for a $5 coffee, you’re getting a porn subscription.” For reference, $25 will get you 24 days of access to Naughty America properties. $50 gets you 48 days, and $200 gets you 612 days. You don’t have to use a credit card or your name, just an email address. A third-party site pays Naughty America for the gift card numbers.

Remember everything I said about gift cards being the worst piece of shit present anyone can get? I fucking take it all back! I mean just when I think a $10 gift card to Applebee’s can’t get any stupider, they go and do something like this, and totally redeem themselves! You know how many cube monkeys out there with a stack of useless gift cards sitting on their desk are rejoicing right now? I mean yea, its a real kick in the dick that iTunes ain’t on the list. If iTunes gift cards were eligible corporate America could basically buy all of Naughty America’s inventory of movies. But nonetheless there’s some people out there who are looking at their Barnes and Noble card or their Target gift card and all they’re seeing is some Ass Worship video with Phoenix Marie. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing.

PS – You know theres about a zillion 14 year old kids out there rummaging through their shit trying to find those stupid gift cards their mom gave them as stocking stuffers who are excited beyond words. Thanks a lot mom! Gonna get to see my first high quality HD DP scene!