NYC ATM Dispenses Gold Bars
Gothamist – It’s not easy to replenish the gold bullion you spent on a hoop skirt and that Napoleonic cannon on-the-go these days. Thankfully, rare coin gallery Stack’s Bowers’s “Gold-to-go” ATM machine has got you covered, offering up solid gold bars for a mere $1,327-a-pop. Scouting NY spotted the mini Fort Knox this week, located just outside Stack’s Bowers’s shop on West 57th Street. The machine allows you to use a credit card or cash to purchase one ounce gold bars for around $1,300, in addition to 10 gram bars for about $490 and 5 gram bars for $255, depending on market prices. You can also purchase gold and silver coins, along with commemorative Bronx Zoo silver coins and pieces, in case you want a memento from a tourist attraction located several miles north—all purchases come packaged in “an attractive gift box.” According to a Times piece, as of 2009 there were only about 20 such Gold ATMs in the world. And before you make a beeline for Midtown to go all Scrooge McDuck on the ATM, note that you pretty much can’t use gold for anything other than to show your friends how rich you are, so you might as well save your money for a bitcoin machine.
I wanna know where the gold at! I want the gold! I was just talking about this on this week’s episode of MailTime. I want gold bullion. I need gold bullion. Now what I was talking about was the big ass trapezoid blocks of gold that Simon Gruber steals from the Federal Reserve Building in Die Hard With A Vengeance. Problem is those cost about a million bucks. So I think I’m just gonna go with that 10 gram bar. For reference this is what we’re looking at
Maybe I’ll go nuts and just blow a paycheck on an ounce of gold. Just keep it in my wallet like its a credit card except its a slab of gold. The article points out that you can’t do anything with gold other than show people how rich you are but what else would be the point of carrying gold? Obviously thats why you fucking do with it. Pull out your slab at the restaurant like “Excuse me miss, do you accept gold bullion? No? Ok I’ll just pay with cash like a commoner.” Its like the next level of carrying around a mafia wad of hundreds. Just holding bricks of gold in your pocket.