Should We Make A Deal With The Germans To Tie On Thursday?
MANAUS, Brazil — In the 1982 World Cup, Germany and Austria met in Gijon, Spain, for their final group game with an interesting situation. If Germany won by one or two goals, both teams would advance to the second round. A tie or Austria victory, and the Germans were out. So they brokered what became known as Nichtangriffspakt von Gijon. The non-aggression pact of Gijon. Horst Hrubesch scored in the 10th minute for a 1-0 German lead, and that’s the way it stayed, the two teams lazily kicking the ball across the field for the remaining 80 minutes while Chile and Algeria – the other members of Group 2 – watched helplessly as they were eliminated. Thirty-two years later, the Germans could do it again when they face the United States on Thursday in the 2014 World Cup’s Group G finale in Recife. A tie works quite nicely for both teams. Germany would still win the group and avoid a dangerous Belgium team in the second round; the Americans would get through in second place with points and not have to worry about trying to advance on goal differential. And Ghana and Portugal, the other members of Group G, couldn’t do a darn thing about it. There’s also this: U.S. coach Jurgen Klinsmann and German coach Joachim Low are good friends. Low was Klinsmann’s lead assistant with Germany at the 2006 World Cup and succeeded him as head coach. So why not? Why not a Nichtangriffspakt von Recife? Klinsmann shook his head. No deal. “It is part of the German history, not the United States,” Klinsmann said Sunday night after a late Portugal goal forged a 2-2 tie and prevented his team from clinching a spot in the second round. “The United States is known to give everything they have in every single game. I think we’ve proved that in (qualifying). We made things happen, otherwise Mexico wouldn’t be here … We have that fighting spirit, that energy and determination every single game. So we’re going into Recife very ambitious, with confidence to beat Germany. I’m actually pretty confident.”
Listen I wanna beat those dirty Krauts just as bad as the next guy. I’d to love bend the Group Of Death over and fuck it right in its ass. I want to be American and run it back and mop the floor with Germany, World War II style.
But what I really, really want is to keep the World Cup dream alive. I want that knockout round. I need that knockout round. It was snatched right from our clutches in the final fake ass 15 seconds of play yesterday. Its a year where powerhouses are falling and dark horses are rising. What I want is to give this team and this country the best chance to win a motherfuckin World Cup. And if that means we conveniently make a gentleman’s agreement with Deutschland to help us take that next step, so be it. I hate the tanking mentality in sports but I also don’t need any of that Hero Ball shit. I don’t need an already injured and banged up team going out there and busting their asses for no reason in a pointless dick measuring contest. Survive and advance is the name of the game. So whether Klinsmann or the German coach picks up the phone ahead of time, or its just a unspoken understanding once we all stand on the pitch, I say snake it til you make it. Yea it might feel a little dirty and kinda lame for a moment, but once that elimination game comes around, nobody is even going to remember the time we agreed to tie with the enemy. It will be water under the bridge and full speed ahead for a World Cup title.
Say it with me now! I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL TIE! I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL TIE! I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL TIE! I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL TIE!