The World Has Officially Gone Too Far - Lays Introduces Cappuccino Flavored Potato Chips

NEW YORK (AP) — American palates have changed considerably over the years, but is the country ready for cappuccino-flavored Lay’s Frito-Lay, the snack division of PepsiCo Inc., will announce on Wednesday the coffee-flavored chips as one of the four finalists for its second annual “Do Us a Flavor” contest in the U.S., which gives people a chance to create a new potato chip that is sold nationally and win $1 million. The other three finalists are Cheddar Bacon Mac & Cheese, Mango Salsa and Wasabi Ginger. Frito-Lay says the four flavors are expected to start hitting shelves in late July. People will then be able to vote online for their favorite through Oct. 18.

Let me ask you a question – did George Washington sail across the Delaware River and slaughter the British on Christmas so that you could eat cappuccino flavored potato chips? Did you grandfather storm the beaches of Normandy so that you could eat cappuccino fucking flavored potato chips? For sure not, my friends. For sure not. The Foodie world has gone crazy in recent years. Combining different tastes and creating unholy alliances with foods that do not belong together. Pushing the boundaries of the normal human palatte for the sake of novelty and shock value. Bacon donuts and Krispy Kreme cheeseburgers. Chocolate chip Oreos and other monstrosities.

And I’ve sat by and watched it all happen. But I’m drawing the line at cappuccino potato chips. I don’t even know what the fuck that really means. Not even sure I can wrap my head around making a potato chip taste like coffee. But all I know is we’re on a slippery slope as a country. One day its “we’re no longer allowed to say ‘he’ or ‘she’,” the next day its cappuccino potato chips, and next thing you know it Canada invades and the United States of America no longer exists. So if you’re one of the assholes who buys these chips take a long, hard look in the mirror before you eat them and ask yourself “What would my Forefathers think of me right now?”