Reintroducing You To The Most Beautiful Tennis Umpire In The World: Marijana Veljovic
Last night during the insane Federer/Sandgren quarterfinals match at the Australian Open I spotted the love of my life once again doing her thing. That would be head chair umpire Marijana Veljovic. I fell for Marijana during last year's Aussie Open while also watching a Federer match. She is beautiful and doesn't take shit from anyone.
During the match last night, Federer became frustrated with his play and screamed a loud curse word which I presume was "fuck" although I couldn't tell for sure watching on TV. A lines judge tattletalled on him to Marijana and she promptly issued him a code violation warning. Federer became enraged and demanded to know what he said. Marijana just looked at him, smiled, and said she wasn't repeating it.
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The internet then demanded to know more about her.
Quickly I saw my blog from 2019 shoot right to the top of the trending page on our site. I hadn't tweeted about it, the people just found it which is scary. I figured given her recent reappearance in the spotlight I'd repost that blog below, so here you go. Enjoy!
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True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend. What I’m trying to say here is that true love is blind. Last night I was doing my usual, watching the various tennis matches going on in the second round of the Australian Open, duh. My guy Federer was taking on a man who was previously suspended for doing a ton of coke, Dan Evans, and then it happened. The cameraman panned towards the head chair umpire and bestowed upon my eyes a beautiful sight. I didn’t think I’d fall in love with a tennis chair umpire during the Aussie Open, but life is full of unexpected surprises.
My first thought was why is Alicia Vikander umpiring tennis matches. Upon further review it was not her, but I wouldn’t be shocked after a DNA test we found out they’re related.
The old school Barstool thing to do here was to send out the smoke patrol and find out who this mystery woman was. I instead took it upon myself to conduct some tennis umpiring research. Presenting to you Serbian tennis umpire Marijana Veljovic. You think you can slip a foot fault by her? No chance, she’s a bad bitch.
I think I’m going to start learning Serbian.