If I Had A Brain I Would Have Bought A Ton Of Penn National Stock Last Night
I moved from Ukrainian Village to Lincoln Park a few months back. It was the first time I had moved in 6 years and I stumbled across a lot of things I didn't know or remember that came into my possession over the years, Canadian dick pills and a Fossil Watch to name a few of the items. You can find the entire list here. But one thing that stuck out to me was this book:
Let's back track it a moment though. Back when I was like 23 years old I had an entrepreneurial brain and wanted to start my own business. Well, I kinda did that. I've written about it before, but I owned a smaller baseball program that I developed enough to the point where I made more than solid ancillary income. It wasn't near enough to focus on full time, but it was a good side hustle for a kid that age.
Now I majored in sports management and Spanish in college; I don't know anything about money other than how to spend it. But thank god for the "For Dummies" series. "I'll just get rich via passive income through stock investing," I thought to myself, and checked out "Stock Investing For Dummies" from the library.
I got through one chapter, stopped reading it, and never returned it to the Warrenville Public Library. It fucks up my credit to this day because they reported the $32.00 book to collections.
But last night could have been my big break. We were made aware of the Penn National deal and I was ecstatic for everyone at the company that made it happen - Dave, Big Cat, KFC, Erika, and everyone else. But what I wasn't made aware of is that Penn National is a publicly traded company. Had I known that prior to the announcement this morning, I would have sunk every ounce of money in my checking account into Penn National stock to become a part owner of Barstool Sports (I think that's how it works?).
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If my math serves correct, and this is a big if, I would have owned about 19 shares of the company. Yesterday morning, Penn National's stock opened at $25.69:
Today? Well it's skyrocketed to $28.50 after the announcement.
Ya know what that means???
AGAIN, my math could be off here - but hear me out: $28.50 - $25.59 = $2.81 x ~19 shares....
About $53.39 I would have made without doing anything more than clicking "buy stock" and "sell stock" on my laptop.
Passive income like you fucking read about. That, my friends, is how you do it. I think. Don't quote me on that. I honestly have no idea but it seems correct in my very slow, very limited brain.
Real talk - hypothetical/satirical (!!!) insider trading aside, congratulations to Dave, Erika, Big Cat, and everyone else. It's incredible to be a (small) part of this company and I couldn't be more proud for everyone out in NYC who's built this company into what it is today. Myself and the rest of the Chicago crew are going to do whatever it takes to burn Illinois gaming to the ground once it's fully functional. I will live in the smoker's room at the Hollywood Casino of Aurora if I need to in order to make the most of the opportunity that Penn National is providing us.
Onward and upward to the goddamn moon!